Spectacles

 We, as a family, have new glasses. 

James needs his prescription updated every year, and we can always tell that it's about that time when he starts asking us to read him the football scores that he SHOULD be able to see at the bottom of the screen on Sunday afternoons. (Unrelated to anything about glasses, but important to insert because I haven't blogged in a long time, how much fun are the Bills right now?) Our television isn't THAT small.

We noticed that he was getting squinty again and scheduled an appointment at the eye doctor. Sure enough, he needed to go significantly stronger. J had him pick out a new pair of frames. For such a mild and soft-spoken kid he has incredibly gaudy taste in clothing. (Bright yellows, oranges, and his unforgettable En Vacances Tiger t-shirt) His new glasses are cherry red in the front and blue in the back. They don't match his personality at all, but they fit right in (in a clashing, wearing your shirt backwards kind of way) with the rest of his wardrobe.

When we took Owen to get his eyes checked in 2019 he ended up crying on the floor of the optometrist because he DIDN'T need glasses. He recounted all of the reasons why James getting a pair while he didn't was unfair, and even attempted to walk out with a pair "just for decoration."

This year his wildest dreams came true. The doctor approved him for the weakest possible prescription (hey, don't turn down free money) and he now owns a pair of baby blue glasses that he loses about two or three times a day. Here is a typical daily agenda for Owen:

-Play football with Felix

-Crawl under the furniture

-Shouting and yelling

-Jump off of furniture

-Wrestle with James 

-More shouting

-Snowball fight

It's easy to understand why the glasses come on and off. He's dropped them in his mashed potatoes, shaken them off his face while recording selfie videos (mostly just screaming at the top of his lungs) on his new camera, and dropped them behind his bed.

It was James, though, that needed the first repair. Somehow (we're really not sure) his new glasses were stretched out so badly within his first two weeks of wearing them that they would no longer stay on his face.

"They are so loose that they fell off my head and into the toilet," he told the attendant who was attempting to straighten them out with the heat machine. She gave me a look that plainly said "Why didn't you tell me this before handing them to me."

"We washed them," I assured her.

I have no idea if we washed them. I didn't even know they'd fallen in the toilet.

Felix doesn't have glasses yet, but his pediatrician hinted that he was well on his way at his three year old well-child visit, so we have that to look forward to as well.

There's still one more new pair of glasses in the house, though. J and I both used our insurance credit to stock up on contacts, but the doctor recommended that I get a pair of reading glasses. I am officially an old man now.

They actually would have been cheaper if I had an AARP coupon, but I didn't. I was skeptical about whether they would do any good, but the difference was drastic and immediate. Crap.

So now I carry reading glasses around in my pocket, but have to take them off whenever I'm helping one of the older two sort out their latest case of lost/damaged eyewear. I haven't lost mine yet, but remind me to look on top of my head when I do.