15 Minutes with Owen

 I just transcribed the past 15 minutes of Owen's interactions with the rest of the family. 

This is why we all sleep so hard.

4:08 Kicking the oversized swivel chair (stripped of it's cushions, pillows, and blankets, which are piled in the library) in circles as fast as he can with Felix as a passenger.

Throwing metal bookends against the wall until ordered to stop.

"Felix, CLOSE YOUR EYES!"

4:11 "Do you think I can jump off the chair while it's still moving?" "Don't do that, Owen." <THUD> "OUUCH!!! I'm gonna do it again!!"

4:12 Hopping in place in the middle of the room. 2nd jump from the spinning chair. Jumping jacks. 3rd jump, with sound effects and singing. Running in place on the chair while it's "still."

"Dad, the chair is starting to wobble."

4:14 Knocked Felix down and laid on top of him. "You're warm." Gets up, singing "Duel of the Fates" from Star Wars. Teasing Felix, not letting him back on to the chair.

A giant "WHOOOOOOO" noise, from very high to very low, for no apparent reason.

To no one in particular, in a dramatic voice: "I'm a little too sloppy and a little too fast."

To Felix: "Let's call the game "Jump Off and Get On."

4:16 Snow angels on the carpet.

Ran into the bathroom and locked the door.

4:17 Felix starts throwing a foam ball around and immediately hits me in the head with it. (I'm transcribing all of this from the dining room table." Flushing sound. No sound of washing hands. Owen tears out of the bathroom and picks up the bag of blood oranges I brought back from Wegmans.

"What are these? I want to try them! Can I have blood orange juice?"

4:18 Picked up a decorative Greek vase, using it as a microphone to sing "Duel of the Fates."

"I'm bored, Felix. What do you want to do?"

4:19 20 seconds of silence. I find him touching the model Titanic (which he is not supposed to do) to see if the paint is still wet.

More silence. I find him turning the disconnected laundry taps by our pantry, which he is also not supposed to touch.

4:20 "Did you go to the store? Can I go to the store? Can I get something? I need cornstarch!" (He found a recipe in quicksand in a magazine.) Chants "Quick-sand, quick-sand, quick-sand." I get hit in the head with Felix's ball again.

4:21 (Picks up a mostly full glass of water on the kitchen table.) "Mom, is this sparkling water? Mom, is this sparkling water?" "No, and I don't know whose it is." "Owen, stop playing with the water."

4:22 Peeling stickers off a model car and putting them back on. James notices that there is play-doh out on the kitchen table. Says, rudely: "No one is playing with play-doh, James."

4:23 Goes into the bathroom and whispers something to Felix, who is sitting on his training potty. Jumps in place on the spinny chair.

4:24 Apparently he was trying to convince Felix to jump up and down on the training potty.

Going through the spice racks in the kitchen. Pulls out the apple cider vinegar and asks if he can have a drink of this "apple seltzer."

Tells James he's going up to his room without permission. Starts repeating everything James says.

BONUS 

We once had a sermon at my church about the power of six word stories, starting with the famous example from Hemingway. (For Sale: Baby shoes, never worn.)

I wrote one for our family this week:

Owen found the deliberately hidden harmonica.