51/100

I.
“Wemme tell you a story. Onceuponatime, when I was widdle, I had a widdle bruvver, and his name was Uncle Woocas. And I had a pond, and there was a BEAR. And it was SCARY! But I fighted him wiv my sword and I knocked him down, and the bear...ate some garbage!”
“Wemme tell you a story. Onceuponatime, when Mommy was pregnant wiv Fewix, I had a baby in MY tummy, and it kicked my tummy and twied to knock my coffee cup down.”
James: “Owen, sometimes I think that you are not telling the truth.”
“No, no! Wemme tell you a story. Onceuponatime when I was widdle I went to wiv on the MOON! And do you know what was there? Dinosaurs! And they tried to eat me, and I wode in my time machine!”
James: “No you didn’t.”

II.
Friendly Neighbor: “Hi Owen, are you out for a jog with your Daddy?”
Owen: “Yes, and today is mine BURFDAY!”
Friendly Neighbor: “It is? Well, happy birthday!”
Me: “It isn’t.”
Friendly Neighbor: “Well, when is your birthday?”
Owen: “In OCTOBER!”
Friendly Neighbor: “And how old are you going to be?”
Owen: “I’m going to be FIVE!”
Me: “Nope.”
Friendly Neighbor: “Are you going to be two?”
Owen: <holds up three fingers and grins>