31/100

We were walking back from an ice cream trip. The boys had taken their scooters ahead of us, and we were crossing Harwick Road when Owen suddenly started pulling to the right, towards the middle of the intersection. He was between J and I, and as we both reached down to steady him we heard the squeal of brakes and the long blast of a car horn.

I reached down and yanked Owen close to me before spinning around to see what had happened. It was James, out in the middle of the road, scared witless and trying to get himself turned around and back to the sidewalk. James, our careful and responsible child, was the one who had darted into the road in front of an oncoming car without looking. Owen had swerved right because he was blindly following his big brother. We both had our eyes on Owen.

In the United States there is a pedestrian fatality every 1.6 hours. Nearly 5,000 cyclists under the age of 14 were injured in 2014. Being out on a bike is approximately twice as dangerous as playing youth football for head injuries, even accounting for proper helmet use. Both James and Owen wear their helmets. These were statistics that I knew. These were statistics I'd made peace with, because you accept some risk every time you walk out your front door, let alone get onto a scooter or a bicycle or into a car.

J and I are deeply similar in one way--the more frightened or angry we are, the calmer we get. I waved to the driver who had thrown on their brakes and mouthed a "thank you." James was trembling on the side of the road. When J spoke it was placid and direct. "James, did you try to cross the road without waiting for us?" He nodded. "You must never, EVER do that. Do you understand what just happened?" He looked at her and saw that she was starting to cry, and then he started sobbing and apologizing. I took his scooter and walked slowly ahead with Owen once we'd safely crossed the road.

We've tried to mitigate the risks that we take every time we step outside. Helmets are non-negotiable. They must wear helmets every time they get on their bikes or scooters. They must wait for a parental go-ahead at every intersection and street crossing. We've taught James to watch out for cars pulling out of driveways if he's scooting ahead of us. He saw one the other day and made a point of stopping Owen and waiting for it to come out. We talked up how proud we were of him keeping a sharp eye out. But you just can't protect against everything. This study says 70% of people use their smartphones while they're driving. The woman who James ran out in front of wasn't.

If we tried to protect our kids against every risk in the outside world we'd go nuts. It's all we can do to remember to check them for ticks every time they come in from the woods, or to try to wipe their shoes down after they've gone climbing through patches of poison ivy. Parenting is heartbreaking work, even when your kids are fine at the end of the day. You get them through one day safe and whole, and then you send your heart out into the world again the next day trusting that his bike helmet and common sense will protect him.

I'm afraid we might be wrong about the scooters. Maybe they're both too young to go flying down suburban sidewalks. Too young be around intersections and going past endless driveways. Or maybe yesterday won't ever happen again. Either way, thank you, THANK YOU to the woman driving the red sedan who kept her brakes in good service and was not using her cellphone. And may we all be trusted to do likewise.