Pliny on Sports

I recently finished reading the letters of Pliny (from a Loeb edition I found while visiting the local bookshop of the Virginia Smiths) and then read a biography of him called "In the Shadow of Vesuvius." I think there's a lot to like about Pliny (the Younger) despite his open crustiness, and I appreciate the nuance of the social relationships you get in the letters. His view on sports, however, is worth reproducing in its entirety.

C. Plinius Calvisio suo s. 1 Omne hoc tempus inter pugillares ac libellos jucundissima quiete transmisi. ‘Quemadmodum’ inquis ‘in urbe potuisti?’ Circenses erant, quo genere spectaculi ne levissime quidem teneor. Nihil novum nihil varium, nihil quod non semel spectasse sufficiat. 2 Quo magis miror tot milia virorum tam pueriliter identidem cupere currentes equos, insistentes curribus homines videre. Si tamen aut velocitate equorum aut hominum arte traherentur, esset ratio non nulla; nunc favent panno, pannum amant, et si in ipso cursu medioque certamine hic color illuc ille huc transferatur, studium favorque transibit, et repente agitatores illos equos illos, quos procul noscitant, quorum clamitant nomina relinquent. 3 Tanta gratia tanta auctoritas in una vilissima tunica, mitto apud vulgus, quod vilius tunica, sed apud quosdam graves homines; quos ego cum recordor, in re inani frigida assidua, tam insatiabiliter desidere, capio aliquam voluptatem, quod hac voluptate non capior. 4 Ac per hos dies libentissime otium meum in litteris colloco, quos alii otiosissimis occupationibus perdunt. Vale.

Gaius Plinius to his Calvisius: 

I have been passing all my time here among my little tablets and books in a most pleasant peace. "How is that possible," you ask, "in the city?" Well, the Circensian games have been happening, and that is a kind of spectacle which has not the slightest attraction for me. There is no novelty, no variety in it, nothing which one wants to see twice. Hence I am the more amazed that so many thousands of people should be eager, like a pack of children, to see horses running time after time, and the charioteers bending over their cars. There might be some reason for their enthusiasm if it was the speed of the horses or the skill of the drivers that was the attraction, but it is the jersey colors which they favor, and the team uniforms that fire their love. If, in the middle of the course and during the race itself, the jerseys were to be changed, their enthusiasm and partisanship would change with them, and they would suddenly desert the drivers and the horses, whom they recognize from afar and whose names they shout aloud. Such is the influence and authority vested in one cheap shirt, I don't say with the common crowd, - for that is even cheaper than the tunic, - but with certain men of position; and when I consider that they can sit for so long without growing tired, looking on at such a fruitless, cheerless, and tedious sport, I really feel a sort of pleasure in the thought that what they take delight in has no charm for me. Thus it is that I have been only too glad to pass my leisure time among my books during the race-meeting, while others have been wasting their days in the most idle occupations.   Farewell.

You're right, Pliny. Stefon Diggs is wearing a Texans uniform now and we DO hate him for it. And even if this season goes exactly the way that every other season has gone we are still going to shout ourselves silly over the "tedium" of enjoying something really fun together. And YOU aren't invited.

Go Bills.

Ball Games

Big George has a new shirt because we went to three ball games in four days. It arrived today, and it's blue. Felix is immensely proud of him and declared that his new outfit is for "going out to do business." (He is also concerned, though, that it has the wrong smell.)

We knew about the first game months ago, because we have a friend with front row seats behind home plate who loves to give us tickets a couple times a year. Also, he knows when Felix's birthday is.

Then I got hired, as I almost always do, to play the BPO Independence Eve celebration in Buffalo. And then I got hired for the Rochester "show after the ball game" concert the day after Felix's birthday. And in all three games it was Red Wings v. Bisons.

I took all three boys to the Buffalo Independence Eve celebration last year, and it was one of those nearly perfect days that I hope they will remember forever. It had been a rainy morning, so the rehearsal was moved to an enormous warehouse at the Bison's practice facility. The boys had plenty of space to run around and even played with some other in-tow orchestra kids while I did a short rehearsal (it was over in 45 minutes)

After the rehearsal was over we drove to the Penn-Dixie fossil site and ate a delicious picnic lunch while the last of the rain dribbled away. We found scores of fossils (apparently it's even easier to pick them out after a rain, because the color is different) and once we had finished up digging drove up past the Bills' stadium to a Wegmans. They ate cannoli, bought a sub, and then ate the sub down by the ballpark.

They watched the game (which the Bisons won), behaved like angels, made more friends with other orchestra kids, and enjoyed the concert and the fireworks.

It was never going to work as a repeat. 

This year the rehearsal was at the ballpark in blistering heat, and the shaded picnic area that I had been planning for them to sit at had been bulldozed over sometime in the past year. The stage wasn't ready, so the orchestra rehearsal (instead of being a 45 minute run-through) started nearly 45 minutes late and then required a 20 minute break.

The boys watched a movie on the iPad while sweating in the little shade they could find in visiting pitcher's area and grumbled about when we might finally go dig fossils. (They did find a random baseball under one of the benches, which I told them they could keep.)

Once we (FINALLY) we were done with rehearsal, we drove out to the Penn-Dixie site.

"...do you follow our Facebook page?"
"I'm not on Facebook."

"We're closing in 10 minutes because of the heat today."

So we ate our lunch in the car and tried to come up with a next move. No one liked their lunch. This was the worst day ever.

We ended up at the Galleria so that the older two boys could find birthday presents for Felix. (They got him LEGO, and all three walked away with LEGO passports.) They complained that we couldn't buy a bat from Dick's (which cost $150), and Felix refused to use the public bathroom at the mall.

"I want to got at the ballpark, because stadium bathrooms are disgusting, and I'M disgusting."

We had fast food for dinner, they griped at me while I changed into concert clothes in the van, and we made our way into the ballpark.

They were thirsty. They were hungry. They felt persecuted because they all wanted to cheer on the Red Wings, but didn't like rooting against the Bisons. Felix wiggled and squirmed in his seat but insisted he didn't have to go to the bathroom.

In the eighth inning I finally said to him, "Felix, I'm going to have to go play a concert in 20 minutes. You need to go sit on the potty now and take care of whatever you're holding in. I can't come and save you once I'm on stage if you have an accident. What kind of bribe is it going to take to get you into the potty."

And ten minutes later, Felix, with his bowels emptied, was sitting in his seat eating a hot dog happily.

The Red Wings won.

The next day was the 4th, and then we were at Innovative Field on the 5th behind homeplate to watch the game on Felix's birthday. It was a big 4th and it was a big day before the ball game, so we were all already tired and a little overcooked. But tonight was going to be special.

For his 6th birthday I had called the Red Wings ahead of time and paid to have a big "Happy Birthday Felix!" sign put up on the big screen. The intern who took the info emailed me before the game and told us to watch and the bottom of the 6th inning. Unfortunately, however, one of the ushers had come down to chat with Julie and the boys right at the end of the 6th inning, and even as she was trying to drive him off the slide came and went. (A friend who was out with us managed to get a picture of it.)

This year I called ahead of time again. Bottom of the 6th inning again. The picture was in. We were ready. Felix was going to SEE himself this year.

He had a great beginning to the game. Spikes, the mascot, signed his program and a free soft ball that he caught. Mitzi gave him a high-five and big birthday thumbs-up.

In the third inning Felix got the wiggles. I took him and his brothers up for a bathroom trip and for hot dogs. I didn't let them get a ten dollar water, but told them to drink from the fountain. Felix sat in the stall and talked to himself but didn't do anything.

He wiggled through the 4th inning. At the top of the 5th inning J was getting worried. 

"He's going to miss it unless we take him now."

"He's going to miss it if you DO take him now. He'll just sit there and won't do anything."

She took him. Out after out followed in quick succession. He missed it for the second year in a row.

They were back early in the seventh, and he was carrying a ten dollar water. She said it was the only bribe that could get him to make an effort. He ended up drinking maybe four sips of it through the entire rest of the game. 

Owen and Felix each cadged free baseballs from the umpires at the end of the game.

The Red Wings won.

The next night we were back again. We made SURE before we left that everyone had eaten a full, healthy supper, had plenty to drink, and had sat on the potty. 

We weren't behind home plate, and Owen and Felix were concerned that they might not get any free baseballs tonight. I explained that most fans don't get a free ball every time they go to the game. Felix still wanted more free stuff.

We sat and talked with orchestra colleagues through the first few innings, and then decided to make our way down to the premium seats we'd been in the previous night to say hello and thank-you to our friends.

I asked the boys if anyone needed the bathroom on the way down. James and Owen both did. Felix said he was absolutely fine and didn't need to go at all.

We found our friends in the sixth inning and they invited us to stay next to them--there was plenty of empty seating in and around their row. Owen and Felix took up positions to intercept the umps on the way out of the park for more free balls. Felix found Spikes again and got his hat signed. 

With Buffalo leading the game and the up to bat at the top of the ninth I looked at Felix. He had been getting wigglier and wigglier...

"Felix, you need to go to the bathroom."

"No, I don't."

"Yes, you do."

"No, I'm fine." <trembling uncontrollably>

"Felix, I need to go to work in a minute. And I need to leave you here. You won't be able to go to the bathroom once I'm gone."

"I don't need to go." <practically bouncing on his seat>

"Felix....what bribe will it take to get you to the bathroom."

"Well...I think that Big George needs a new shirt."

Ten minutes later Felix was back in his seat with empty bowels to watch the bottom of the ninth, and I was making my way over to the orchestra stage.

The game ended up going into extra innings, and the Red Wings came back to win. At some point in the 10th the boys just happened to mention how much they'd love to come to a Sunday game at some point so that they could run the bases. Our friends immediately sent me an email with dates on which they'd be happy to offer us their tickets again.

And they got free baseballs from the exiting umps again.

These children are evil geniuses. And Big George likes his new shirt.

Owen at Work on his Typewriter

 Encyclopedia Brown And The Case Of The Oatmeal Creme Pies

At dinner in the Brown house Chief Brown was the one to come in stumped, but once his WIFE came in with a mystery! (Sounds mysterious huh?) 

What's up mom? Asked Encyclopedia. Oh, said his mom, only she paused for dermatic effect...A MYSTERY BEHIND A CASH REGESTER!!! (His mom was a cashier.)

Gimme the facts mom! Said Encyclopedia.

Okay, said his mom, it all started when a lady walked up to me, and started to put things on the belt thingy...she paused waiting for Encyclopedia to correct her. He did'nt.

She went on. Then she dove to the ground! When she got up she had her hand in her pocket! I asked her to turn up her pockets, but there was nothing in them! Her and Chief Brown's eyes turned to Encyclopedia. 

Was there anyone with her? he asked.

Ummmmm...said his mom, yes... no...wait yes?

Chief Brown rolled his eyes. 

Yes. said Encyclopedia's mom so suddenly that Encyclopedia Brown and Chief Brown jumped. 

She had a daughter but she was playing on the floor the daughter I mean! Ms Brown yelped!

(Encyclopedia was giving her "The Look.")

I think she got up at some point but I wasn't paying attention.

It took Encyclopedia 7 seconds to come up with the andswer.

When the lady went to the ground, her child already benn there! The child probably put the object on the belt! He said. Case closed!

Oh oops. said ms Brown. If you see her again you should appologize honey said Chief Brown.

Yeagh mom. said Encyclopedia.

Just then Sally burst in! Encyclopedia! She said. Susan Lools needs you!

Quid?! Asked Encyclopedia!

She thinks Bugs stole her lego set!

Not Bugs! Said Encyclopedia! 

I know! said Sally! I only JUST learned to throw a new boxing/karate punch!

And without another word they were off!

It was getting dark so they stooped at Salley's for flashlighets. After 5 minutes Sally pointed out the house. 

There is a even number of peaple arriving! said a 4 year old who opend the door for them. She just learned her odd and even. said Susan. as the 4 year old shouted There is an odd nunber off magic eight balls! there is a even number of Oat meal creme pies!

Where are your parents? asked Encyclopedia. 

WHATS ALL THIS NOISE I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!!! someone screamed!

Thats Jake said Susan, here I will got and get a picture of that Lego Set, and our parents are getting groceries. She said. 

She went upstaries and came down with a lego city set, only...it was a picture 1,450 pices.

She said, then said I saw bugs saying something about a new Lego Set to the other tigers. Then added on the same day we lost ours.

She went back upstares to return it. as she was up there Bugs Meany came in I DID'NT DO IT!!! he yelled! anay way I don't like Lego City. he said.

You did. said Encyclopedia, And there is no use denying it and there's 2 pices of evedence. IF...he turned to the 4 year old when were you eating this?

Strangwy enough righ before the set was stolen! said the 4 year old. 

Encyclopedia said to bugs YOU STOLE IT! oh and, you got this yesterday night? the 4 year old noded.

How did he know? 

Toronto Trip 2024

 We celebrated Mother's Day by giving J three days away from the kids again this year. I crossed the border with them (proudly bearing their own brand new passports for the first time across international lines) after a morning of church and then sitting through an RPO concert, and we went adventuring again in Canada. 

This is the third time that I've taken the boys across the border by myself, and we've had a great trip each time. (This was the first time that Canadian customs gave me any trouble about not having J along--"be sure to bring a note from the other parent next time.")

We stayed a little north of downtown off of Yonge, and our (very thin-walled) hotel had a balcony

Dinner out the first night. All Felix wanted to eat the whole time we were there were hot dogs, but he did say that if burgers tasted like ones that we had here that he would be interested in them more regularly.

Breakfast for the boys in the hotel lobby after we avoided paying for the gourmet ($49) hot breakfast buffet that Owen started helping himself to while my back was turned.

"I found a pet!" (He has a rubber dragon puppet on his hand.)

They played in this park across from the hotel each morning after walking out to places where I could find a real cup of coffee.

James was super distressed by the garbage in the pool. And by the fact that I wouldn't let him pick it up. Or bring it home to add to his seltzer can collection.

Picture for Mom. This trip was in many ways about building traveling muscles for James' London trip this summer. He says that he thinks it helped.

Shawarma for lunch, which we couldn't finish. Owen was pretty morose through this meal, and then admitted how much all of the homelessness he was seeing bothered him. He packed up our (substantial) leftovers in a carryout box and gave them to a homeless man a few blocks away. Felix would have preferred a hot dog.

Looking for the subway, found something more fun.

James watching the trains switching at Union Station on our way to a Blue Jays game. 

Tried to do a panorama picture and boys were too excited to get into the stadium to hold still for a second attempt.

Maybe the highlight of the trip for these guys. Because we were among the first few hundred fans in the stadium we all got free jerseys. We ended up sitting in the upper deck for over an hour before the game started.

Pretty nice view for a game. We passed the hour by doing a crossword on my phone, which was the highlight of my trip. 
"Complete the popular Beyonce lyrics: "...Cause if you liked it then you should have put a____", 8 letters. Owen: "Marriage"
"Bury one's____ in the sand" Felix: "Brother"
"When I Was Your ____," song by Bruno Mars, 3 letters, starts with M. James: "Mom?"

Blue Jays won, 9-3. Several double plays, several homeruns. It was a great game.

Finally!

Riding very crowded trains to get back to the hotel.

Eating pizza on the balcony and reading Asterix to finish out the day. (Which was Victoria Day!)

Back out on the balcony again first thing the next morning and eager to go swimming.

We have the same photo from 2019. Can't find a way to upload it. Felix looks very young and is howling because I'm making him hold still for a photo.

Felix and Big George pose in front of Monkey Sushi

Found out after we'd picked up the sushi and walked 4 blocks that they only gave us chopsticks. Managed to cadge a few spoons from a coffee shop but they pretty much made the sushi and rice bit work exclusively with the chopsticks. Not bad for first-timers.

Back in the States, their first time at Old Fort Niagara

"This must have been where the soldiers put their TV!"

Shortly before meeting the reenactor to watch him load and fire his musket. (Or, as Felix called it, his "muskrat.")

In the bakery. "I'm Mom!"

And that was it! We stopped for ice cream at Circle R on the way out of Kuckville, but then we were Irondequoit-bound.

Lascaux

 I read an interesting book about the cave paintings at Lascaux last week by the French art historian Jean-Jacques Lefrere. I've always been curious about those paintings, especially after reading the first chapter of Chesterton's "Orthodoxy" in college. Whatever we know about cavemen, despite all of our caricatures of and speculation about them, is as simple and as profound as this: in the beginning, human beings had the impulse to make art.

Lefrere was puzzled by the technical aspects of the cave art--namely, that it didn't have a right to be as good or as consistent as it apparently is. (There are cave drawings separated by over 17,000 years and hundreds of miles that are remarkably similar.)

It was a great book in which he slowly laid out what we know about the paintings:

They are all in profile. They are all of animals, and there is never any vegetation or other landscape elements. The horns, antlers, legs, and bodies are remarkably well painted, without any apparent hesitation or correction. A number of paintings are started, but unfinished. The paintings all appear in locations in the caves that are far, far away from any natural light. The paintings are on unusually textured and irregular surfaces, very rarely on a blank/flat space. The paintings vary wildly in size (some are enormous, some very small) but all have a harmony of style and proportion.

Lefrere speculated that the paintings were done not by freehand or from practiced technique, but by placing a carved statue of an animal before a clay lamp (hence reindeer, bison, and horses rather than rabbits, frogs, or snakes) and by painting in the projected shadow on the illuminated wall.

The boys and I decided to give it a test. We checked out a book about the discovery of the caves from the library, then set about building a fire last week to make ourselves enough charcoal. Not having any berries or madder on hand, we colored the charcoal with food coloring, and then blocked off all of the light coming in through the basement windows. 

At first we tried to light a paraffin lamp, but it was stinky and hot. A flashlight worked fine for a light source. (Except when an older brother thoughtlessly bumped the chair it was up against. Hence the unfinished reindeer.)

Owen's favorite part of getting the charcoal

Felix, who blistered his hand after putting it on the chimneia

Projecting the shadow. We had a cow, a horse, and a leopard

Cave-child

Finished work

Owen's (typewritten) Science Essay

 Louis Pasteur was a smart French scientist who cured a few viruses, many with assistance of his wife Marie. Louis Pasteur (Louie Pass-ture) MN helped against Chicken EN Cholera a disease that killed livestock. Now all these farmers became vegetarians! But really, it was no laughing matter, the people needed their livestock. Just like what we did with the Coronav-irus Pasteur tried giving the livestock a little bit of weakened Chicken Cholera but it did not work. He produced other ideas seemed to work! He forgot about a batch of bacteria in his busyness. He rediscovered it months later, xxxx and tried it on the livestock, and it worked Pasteur had discovered a cure by accidentt! Louis Pasture had many more success with livestock. His most famous cure was a cure for rabies. People bitten by a infected animal have rabies because of the animals saliva. It leaves the poor victim in a state of confusion. Most victims die. Pasteur came up with a idea that seemed to work, and when it worked on Joseph Meister, the first person to ever get the rabies shot Pasteur was seen as a hero.

                                                                            Louis Pasture was a great medical hero!

Signs of Growth

​The boys are aging, ever so slowly but with undeniable upward progress. 

James, who asked to borrow a tie for the orchestra concert that he attended last Friday, approached me confidentially the day after and told me that he really liked wearing some nice dress clothes and would it be possible to get him some more?

It was possible, and he has a blazer, a proper leather belt, and his very own striped silk tie heading his way. (Now he’ll need to learn how to tie it on his own.)

Owen continues to pound away at the piano as soon as he wakes up in the morning, as a formal part of his school day, and in an exploratory and informal manner whenever he passes it. I cherish no hopes of him going into music professionally—if anything, I’d try to steer him away from it. But it gives me undeniable pleasure to hear him picking out melodies he knows in increasingly difficult keys, to hear him making up basic left hand accompaniments to his ear tunes, and to be pushing further and further outside the lines of basic diatonic harmony.

And Felix is the most overtly resistant to growing up. He declared that he can’t read, he sucks his fingers defiantly, and he still carries Big George everywhere he goes. But he only plays the baby when he is with us. Increasingly he is the older kid who assists with looking after the small ones at church, and despite his best efforts to evade and stall from his schoolwork, he described cars that we pass on the highway with fanciful pronunciations of their license plates and a description of their gender (masculine, feminine, or neuter, depending on the sex of the driver) and number (singular or plural, depending on how many people are riding in the front seat.)

They are all looking very tall.