We knew about the first game months ago, because we have a friend with front row seats behind home plate who loves to give us tickets a couple times a year. Also, he knows when Felix's birthday is.
Then I got hired, as I almost always do, to play the BPO Independence Eve celebration in Buffalo. And then I got hired for the Rochester "show after the ball game" concert the day after Felix's birthday. And in all three games it was Red Wings v. Bisons.
I took all three boys to the Buffalo Independence Eve celebration last year, and it was one of those nearly perfect days that I hope they will remember forever. It had been a rainy morning, so the rehearsal was moved to an enormous warehouse at the Bison's practice facility. The boys had plenty of space to run around and even played with some other in-tow orchestra kids while I did a short rehearsal (it was over in 45 minutes)
After the rehearsal was over we drove to the Penn-Dixie fossil site and ate a delicious picnic lunch while the last of the rain dribbled away. We found scores of fossils (apparently it's even easier to pick them out after a rain, because the color is different) and once we had finished up digging drove up past the Bills' stadium to a Wegmans. They ate cannoli, bought a sub, and then ate the sub down by the ballpark.
They watched the game (which the Bisons won), behaved like angels, made more friends with other orchestra kids, and enjoyed the concert and the fireworks.
It was never going to work as a repeat.
This year the rehearsal was at the ballpark in blistering heat, and the shaded picnic area that I had been planning for them to sit at had been bulldozed over sometime in the past year. The stage wasn't ready, so the orchestra rehearsal (instead of being a 45 minute run-through) started nearly 45 minutes late and then required a 20 minute break.
The boys watched a movie on the iPad while sweating in the little shade they could find in visiting pitcher's area and grumbled about when we might finally go dig fossils. (They did find a random baseball under one of the benches, which I told them they could keep.)
Once we (FINALLY) we were done with rehearsal, we drove out to the Penn-Dixie site.
"...do you follow our Facebook page?"
"I'm not on Facebook."
"I'm not on Facebook."
"We're closing in 10 minutes because of the heat today."
So we ate our lunch in the car and tried to come up with a next move. No one liked their lunch. This was the worst day ever.
We ended up at the Galleria so that the older two boys could find birthday presents for Felix. (They got him LEGO, and all three walked away with LEGO passports.) They complained that we couldn't buy a bat from Dick's (which cost $150), and Felix refused to use the public bathroom at the mall.
"I want to got at the ballpark, because stadium bathrooms are disgusting, and I'M disgusting."
We had fast food for dinner, they griped at me while I changed into concert clothes in the van, and we made our way into the ballpark.
They were thirsty. They were hungry. They felt persecuted because they all wanted to cheer on the Red Wings, but didn't like rooting against the Bisons. Felix wiggled and squirmed in his seat but insisted he didn't have to go to the bathroom.
In the eighth inning I finally said to him, "Felix, I'm going to have to go play a concert in 20 minutes. You need to go sit on the potty now and take care of whatever you're holding in. I can't come and save you once I'm on stage if you have an accident. What kind of bribe is it going to take to get you into the potty."
And ten minutes later, Felix, with his bowels emptied, was sitting in his seat eating a hot dog happily.
The Red Wings won.
The next day was the 4th, and then we were at Innovative Field on the 5th behind homeplate to watch the game on Felix's birthday. It was a big 4th and it was a big day before the ball game, so we were all already tired and a little overcooked. But tonight was going to be special.
For his 6th birthday I had called the Red Wings ahead of time and paid to have a big "Happy Birthday Felix!" sign put up on the big screen. The intern who took the info emailed me before the game and told us to watch and the bottom of the 6th inning. Unfortunately, however, one of the ushers had come down to chat with Julie and the boys right at the end of the 6th inning, and even as she was trying to drive him off the slide came and went. (A friend who was out with us managed to get a picture of it.)
This year I called ahead of time again. Bottom of the 6th inning again. The picture was in. We were ready. Felix was going to SEE himself this year.
He had a great beginning to the game. Spikes, the mascot, signed his program and a free soft ball that he caught. Mitzi gave him a high-five and big birthday thumbs-up.
In the third inning Felix got the wiggles. I took him and his brothers up for a bathroom trip and for hot dogs. I didn't let them get a ten dollar water, but told them to drink from the fountain. Felix sat in the stall and talked to himself but didn't do anything.
He wiggled through the 4th inning. At the top of the 5th inning J was getting worried.
"He's going to miss it unless we take him now."
"He's going to miss it if you DO take him now. He'll just sit there and won't do anything."
She took him. Out after out followed in quick succession. He missed it for the second year in a row.
They were back early in the seventh, and he was carrying a ten dollar water. She said it was the only bribe that could get him to make an effort. He ended up drinking maybe four sips of it through the entire rest of the game.
Owen and Felix each cadged free baseballs from the umpires at the end of the game.
The Red Wings won.
The next night we were back again. We made SURE before we left that everyone had eaten a full, healthy supper, had plenty to drink, and had sat on the potty.
We weren't behind home plate, and Owen and Felix were concerned that they might not get any free baseballs tonight. I explained that most fans don't get a free ball every time they go to the game. Felix still wanted more free stuff.
We sat and talked with orchestra colleagues through the first few innings, and then decided to make our way down to the premium seats we'd been in the previous night to say hello and thank-you to our friends.
I asked the boys if anyone needed the bathroom on the way down. James and Owen both did. Felix said he was absolutely fine and didn't need to go at all.
We found our friends in the sixth inning and they invited us to stay next to them--there was plenty of empty seating in and around their row. Owen and Felix took up positions to intercept the umps on the way out of the park for more free balls. Felix found Spikes again and got his hat signed.
With Buffalo leading the game and the up to bat at the top of the ninth I looked at Felix. He had been getting wigglier and wigglier...
"Felix, you need to go to the bathroom."
"No, I don't."
"Yes, you do."
"No, I'm fine." <trembling uncontrollably>
"Felix, I need to go to work in a minute. And I need to leave you here. You won't be able to go to the bathroom once I'm gone."
"I don't need to go." <practically bouncing on his seat>
"Felix....what bribe will it take to get you to the bathroom."
"Well...I think that Big George needs a new shirt."
Ten minutes later Felix was back in his seat with empty bowels to watch the bottom of the ninth, and I was making my way over to the orchestra stage.
The game ended up going into extra innings, and the Red Wings came back to win. At some point in the 10th the boys just happened to mention how much they'd love to come to a Sunday game at some point so that they could run the bases. Our friends immediately sent me an email with dates on which they'd be happy to offer us their tickets again.
And they got free baseballs from the exiting umps again.
These children are evil geniuses. And Big George likes his new shirt.
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