Super Bowl Live Blog

6:10 Well, I'm upstairs despite my plan to do this from the basement. I still stand by my contention that this is not an interesting game and that we don't all need to hear a three hour session of everyone going around the room and taking turns sharing about how great Tom Brady is. But...well, the paint coat that I put on my new model isn't dry yet, and the boys are all excited.

We just finished a dinner of wings (with fried cauliflower and jalapeno slices for the grown ups), a veggie tray with homemade blue cheese and french onion dips, and pina coladas, which I'd never made before. Technically I've still never made a pina colada, because we didn't have any frozen pineapple. But it was good with mango.

6:13 The boys are upset because we're putting them to bed at halftime. This is a direct result of what happened two weeks ago after the AFC championship game. We let James and Owen stay up for the entire game, and then had the worst week of school ever. There were tears, attitude, and constant whining. And the kids were even worse than me.

6:14 Felix says that Tom Brady is kind of like a skunk. I agree.

6:15 Owen would want everyone to know that he officially lost his first tooth. It probably wasn't quite ready to come out, but he and James were playing a game that they call "Karate," and (nobody could have ever seen this coming) when James bodyslammed him facefirst into the corner of a wall his tooth popped out.

I've read quite a bit this year about running technique, and I think it's fascinating how humankind evolved the capabilities we have for long distance running/persistence hunting. Our stride, our ability to shed heat by perspiring, our unique running gait, the shape of our feet...it's fascinating to see how our bodies work. 

When Owen smashed his tooth out my first thought was, "What was the reproductive/survival advantage that anyone would gain by evolving the ability to make that noise?" Is a shriek of such earsplitting power a sign of dominance? Can it ward off potential predators? If he screamed at a bed of kindling, could it make fire?

6:19 Felix just saw Jill Biden on TV and says that she looks just like Nama.

6:22 Owen wants to know if the hype man in the camel coat is angry. He notes, "It DOES take all of us."

6:23 James is concerned that there isn't a giant flag on the field yet for the national anthem. I think he's more excited about the anthem than anything else. He's been asking about it all day.

6:24 The model that I'm working on (which is currently drying) is a 1/700th replica of the USS The Sullivans, which is parked in the Buffalo Naval Park. The kids and I visited it a few years ago, and it's a fantastic day for three little boys. You can scramble all over the whole ship (up ladders and over catwalks), so it's basically a floating obstacle course with enormous guns all over it. It was on our list to go back this year, but then COVID hit...

6:26 My current game is to watch all of these pop artists that I've never heard of and try to see if, without context, I could look at their hair/outfit and think "Oh, I must be watching something from Star Wars." (So far both of the women could be straight out of the Mandalorian, but the guy singing the national anthem is wearing denim.)

6:27 Owen: Is he playing a blue-stringed guitar?

6:28 I can't get over how much more fun this would be if the Bills were playing. Of course, I'd probably be puking with the nerves...

6:29 Julie and I are both in agreement that the one thing we want from the commercials tonight is to see more of the "Save you from becoming your parents" Progressive commercials. Felix wants more of the "Where is the Bud Light NEVER MIND I FOUND IT!"

6:30 "Many great stories begin with once upon a time." CBS is directly plagiarizing J's children's sermon

6:31 J is rooting for football. For a good game. James is rooting for the Chiefs. I am rooting a game where the only forms of scoring are safeties and pick-sixes.

6:33 Owen and Felix are eating Valentine's Candy, because today is a feast day.

6:34 The toss is heads. That's an incredible 30th head. Just amazing longevity. Once in a generation result. Probably because heads doesn't eat tomatoes and has a personal trainer and is married to a supermodel. <raspberry noise>

6:36 Yes, I'm aware that I'm being a poor sport. But that's why I'm writing this all down instead of saying it out loud.

6:38 James: "Daddy, can I ask you something?" Me: "Yes?"

6:39 <silence>

6:40 James: "This game is on CBS, right?" Me:"...yes" James: "Then why is the scoreboard different."

6:40 Three and out. "Everything is proceeding as I have forseen it.."

6:41 Me to J: "When was the last time you had pringles?" (There is a player named Pringle) J: "I don't want to talk about food." (Those chicken wings were amazing, but REALLY indulgent.)

6:44 Felix says he needs a haircut. ("It's almost curly.")

6:45 I will say this...I loved Antoine Winfield so much as a football player (and especially during his time with the Bills) that I can't help but pull for his son.

6:46 James has asked twice if he can watch the winning team "host" the Lombardi.

6:47 I am writing all of this on my new work laptop. My church got it for me, along with the most recent version of Finale and Adobe Premiere Pro, so that I could contribute a bit more. Finale is great. The video editing software is amazing, but it's way over my head. 

6:48 Owen and Felix both heard Snooki (sp?) say "Oh, this sucks!" and they think she said "My socks."

6:51 Brady sacked. My heart is warmed.

6:52 James: "What do you think football players who just lost the Super Bowl feel like? Pretty disappointed, I imagine." J: "I wonder what Donald Trump is doing tonight..."

6:54 Who's going to drink Budweiser if you take the alcohol out of it?

6:58 I can't do it. Grabbed a scotch and the model. We're going to work on the 5 inch main guns.

7:02 Yes, Will Ferrell, I did know that Norway sells way more electric cars than the US. (The Norwegian government heavily subsidizes them, partly due to national guilt about their extensive oil drilling revenues)

7:05 Marv Levy mention. There are 5 people on my bed, and it's totally impossible to work with tiny model parts and glue. My parts keep on going flying when I snip. This isn't working.

7:11 Brady to Gronk. <sigh...>

7:13 The Bud Light commercial didn't do much for Felix.

7:14 How do Antonio Brown and Sammy Watkins both get to play in this game?

7:15 Felix is playing a hilarious game where he pokes James and it bothers him. He is the only fan of this game.

7:16 Big George "Is that a touchdown? That is wholly not a touchdown."

7:17 Owen's thoughts: "I think I saw things I really like and want to see again. The commercial with Big Bird, the one at the ending where a lady says, 'Oh, my socks,' and the man that is full flat like a piece of paper."

7:17 A fingerstick commercial! John Carreyou needs to write about this. (Bad Blood was a good book)

7:18 2021 reading so far: 

Basket Case (Carl Hiaasen), Watership Down (Richard Adams), The Eyes of the Heart (Frederick Buechner), The Odyssey Book 5 (Homer, in Greek),  L'Appart (David Leibowitz), Plan B (Jonathan Tropper), Argonautica (Apollonius, in English), A Midsummer Night's Dream (Shakespeare), How (Not) to Be Secular (James K.A. Smith), My Year with Eleanor (Noelle Hancock), The Wife Between Us (Hendricks and Pekkanen), La Chute (Camus, in French), Christ, the Heart of Creation (Rowan Williams), The Odyssey Book 6 (Homer, in Greek), Crime and Punishment (Dostoevsky), Nature Girl (Carl Hiaasen), War on Peace (Ronan Farrow), A Promised Land (Barack Obama), Odyssey Book 7 (Homer, in Greek), This is Going to Hurt (Adam Kay), You Are Not Alone (Hendricks and Pekkanen), Metamorphoses Book 3 (Ovid, in Latin), Of Mice and Men (Steinbeck)

Currently reading more Homer, Le Jeu de l'Amour et du Hasard, and Infinite Jest.

7:22 J gave Felix a ponytail and he looks just like Bam-Bam. In her own words, "This is the closest I'm ever going to get to having a little girl."

7:27 Owen is getting a ponytail too.

7:28 Did they get stopped short on 4th and goal? They got stopped on 4th and goal!

7:31 I need to send a couple of emails for work. But who sends emails during the Super Bowl? On the other hand, who checks email during the Super Bowl?

7:34 James is watching The Mandalorian with us in the evenings after the other kids are in bed, and it's wonderful. He's on the very. Last. Episode. But we aren't both home in the evening again until Wednesday night. I don't know if he's going to make it.

7:35 James is also on Half-Blood Prince in the Harry Potter series. He almost quit Order of the Phoenix a couple of times ("I really don't like Dolores Umbridge!") but he soldiered through. We finally played the, "What patronus would each member of our family have?" game last night. Consensus: James would have an owl, Owen would have a puppy, and Felix would have a baby Yoda. I would be a swan, J would be a hawk.

7:37 Also, Felix likes to shout the Expecto Patronum spell. He does it with great enthusiasm, and at the top of his lungs. And he pronounces it "Ekpekko Mpitwonee!!!"

7:38 I miss 30 Rock.

7:39 Owen is laughing uproariously at the commercial with funny babies.

7:43 The pick is called back. 

7:44 J is blogging again, if you weren't aware/gave up on checking her site during the long hiatus.

7:45 Owen tries to initiate the game where he repeats everything that James says. J quickly shuts it down.

7:45 Felix laughing uproariously because J keeps on telling him he has a fluffy head. (Also, he's up past his bedtime.)

7:46 James is shouting at the TV because of penalties. Owen is shouting because, well, he's Owen. This bed is small.

7:46 Field goal called back and Bucs given a first down. IT'S RIGGED!!!

7:47 Another Gronk touchdown. Yuck. Owen is making noise like he's rooting for the Bucs, just to be provocative. I didn't think that I would be rooting for one particular team, but I can't stand to see the Bucs (plus refs) winning like this. Go Chiefs.

7:50 How are people still watching Beavis and Butthead? 

7:54 All three kids have a hit a wall in the last couple of minutes. Felix has his fingers in his mouth and Big George lying on his face.

7:55 James and Owen have been reading a great comic book series called Asterix. It's about Gaul during the time of Julius Caesars Gallic Wars, and apparently it's hilarious. They fight over who gets to bring it to bed.

7:58 We've listened to Believe It Or Not I'm Walking On Air and Escape (The Pina Colada song) in the last 4 hours. It's been a great stretch for the 80s.

8:00 I have to remind myself whenever Travis Kelce touches the ball, "This is okay. You WANT the Chiefs to get back into this game."

8:01 Patrick Mahomes using the patented Josh Allen-run-backwards-for-50-yards-on-third-down play.

8:02 J: "So what can Tom Brady do in a minute and one second?" Me: "Not eat a tomato."

8:03 Somebody selling deodorant who looks like Cole Beasley said the word "naked," and now all three boys have the giggles.

8:04 Here's a sentence from an email that I sent to my choir this week:

...we're going to get the whole church involved on the 2/28 service. It will be a celebration of all of our committees (which is the most Presbyterian sentence I've ever written)...

8:05 Felix has decided that it's time to start wrestling. (This bed is too small for five people.)

8:06 Felix: "James is a boogernose."

8:08 I just got Doris Kearns Goodwin's Team of Rivals book in on my library holds, but they don't have a kindle version available.

8:09 Another flag favoring the Bucs. (On an uncatchable ball. Again.)

8:11 ANOTHER uncatchable ball. Now I'm actively rooting for someone to clobber one of the refs. (Not the woman referee.)

8:12 If football had assists, you would need to give one to Carl Cheffers.

8:13 Another flag. (Personal foul.) Josh Allen: "Throw the ball at his head!"

8:16 Halftime. Bedtime for the kids. 

8:26 Kids are in bed. James is in tears over not being allowed to stay up to the end of the game. (Maybe next year) I am watching the halftime show on purpose to see if the singers look more like singers or Star Wars characters. Guy in the red jacket looks like he comes from Star Wars.

8:28 Owen's already come in twice to ask questions that he already knows the answer to.

8:29 He (Star Wars singer) is spinning around in a mirror room of golden lights, and it's just like that casino from whichever movie had the casino scene. Plus there are people in masks. His guitarist has a glowing silver face.

8:37 Okay, serious suggestion here. There should be no such thing as pass interference. Offensive or defensive. Tackling a player or holding with both hands, maybe. But allow them to hand fight, to push off, and to grab jerseys. Whatever it is that you'll lose offensively when everyone starts playing press coverage all the time you'll gain with the big plays that open up when receiver are able to get off of press coverage and downfield. There's way too much ambiguity in the way that DPI is called (or not called) right now, and it's crazy to think that this game is probably going to come down to Carl Cheffer's interpretation of an ambiguous rule. 

8:42 Only two people in the bed now. It's quiet. No one is kicking anybody else. We're going to enjoy the rest of the game in peace.

8:47 There's something to be said for handing the ball off when they're only putting 6 in the box...

8:50 Two big slip-and-falls on the grass. Maybe home field advantage is a bigger deal than we thought...

8:52 Wayne and Garth look OLD....

8:54 Brady follows people around to jaw at them too, but he doesn't get flagged...(thanks to Tony Romo for following up on my point on the air)

8:58 Another Tampa TD. This is getting ugly.

9:03 Mahomes sacked. J makes the excellent point that even if the Bucs are in deep Cover 2, you ought to take a couple of shots if the refs are calling pass interference.

9:06 Now we're just going to watch a Tracy Jordan/Morgan compilation. 

9:12 Brady fumble! And it takes them out of field goal range?

9:13 Apparently still in field goal range.

9:17 A flag! How surprising. (Finally on the Bucs, though)

9:19 A flag! Quelle surprise! 

9:21 What happened to Sammy Watkins? He was so freakish his first few years in Buffalo, and he had the route-running piece in place too. Was there a specific injury that slowed him down?

9:25 Prep for tomorrow's sourdough baking. (Not that I have much to do with that besides turning the oven on when I get up at 6:00)

9:29 Poor Mahomes. Hit the guy in the hands after a hero effort. (A lot of Josh Allen ball on that drive--backpedaling 30 and then heaving it with three guys on you.)

9:31 Orchestra people in the Budweiser commercial? (And a pretty realistic picture of them drinking beer and joking around/insulting each other.)

9:32 So, this game is over. We're just kind of waiting for the credits at this point. I am going to attempt to find things to write about until then. I watched a film with quite a bit of Spanish dialogue on my runs over the past few days, and noticed that I'd picked up enough of the language while working with Owen on his Duolingo this year that I recognized a couple of phrases. It featured three strong female leads, critiqued the immigration system, and explored questions of whether only human beings could evolve something like a conscience.

9:33 Okay, it was the most recent Terminator movie. Did you like it, Martha? (I do my best treadmill running while watching action movies. It gets your adrenaline up.)

9:36 J and I both want to look like Bruce Arians' mom when we're 95. Doesn't look a day over 65.

9:36 It was my half birthday last week and J pointed out that I'm closer to 70 than birth. I don't see how this could be the case, but I'm pretty sure that it's Owen's fault.

9:38 A similar thought from J. "They say they've been made in US for decades, but the company could have been founded in 2000 and that would still be true."

9:42 The only real Chiefs fans I know are the Degnans. Condolences to Ken and Sue. I know it hurts.

9:44 We went for a lovely walk in Tinker Park on Saturday. The kids wore their snowsuits. I had to carry Felix back for over a mile. He's really heavy. Especially in a snowsuit. He fell asleep at 6 PM that night and slept all the way until the next morning.

9:47. Another flag. Tam novitas. 

9:48 "A tough day at work." I'm glad that the entire country doesn't watch my tough work days. (The 2018 Petrouchka concert comes to mind.)

9:49 Commercial break due to the fan on the field. I'm honestly not sure on this...how can a seltzer be organic? 

9:50 No becoming-your-parents Progressive commercials yet.

9:51 I tried putting another 5" gun on The Sullivans, but whenever I snip parts off they go flying, and I'm afraid I'm going to lose something. (I did lose the helm of my Cutty Sark that way down in the basement.)

9:52 3rd and 33. Somehow turned into 4th and 10. Failed to convert, but taunting by Winfield the Younger. 

9:54 <Commercial showing a 6 year old> "You may be feeling a little cooped up."

9:57 "The game did not live up to the hype." J: "That's a ballsy thing for Jim Nantz to say."

9:58: "Tom Brady didn't have a single Super Bowl win between the ages of 27 and 36." Me: "Aw, poor persecuted Tom."

10:03 A flag. πόσο εκπληκτικό

10:04 Romo makes an excellent point. Bucs defensive strategy was simple and they never deviated. They didn't outsmart the Chiefs, they just beat up on them.

10:07 James and Owen both say that they want to watch a NASCAR race some time.

10:08 J: "You see the proposed $3,000 per child legislation? Would we actually...put that in their college funds or something?" Me: "We'd be better parents with an espresso maker."

10:09 White on the pick, then takes his helmet off in the end zone. Why isn't there a flag on that?

10:10 J: "I can't believe Antonio Brown just won a Super Bowl. That makes me want to puke more than anything else."

10:11 "They should call it Champa Bay. Or Tampa Brady." J: "Jim, put down the Michelob Light.'

10:12 Clock hits zero. Football "socks." Go Bills.