We wanted to have an adventure this morning, but not a muddy one. That ruled out a hike in the woods. And not a sandy one, which ruled out the lake. But a walk along the canal sounded delightful to everyone, so we drove to Fairport and set out on a walk.
I.
Owen had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. It started before we even left. We went to wash his hands in the bathroom and slipped on the stool. He got so mad that he screamed and started hitting the bathroom door.
Then he didn't want to hold hands crossing the street or walking in the parking lot, because James didn't have to hold hands. We wouldn't let him pester the man who was fishing by the canal either, and we wouldn't even let him try to fish or to give the man fishing advice when he found out that he hadn't caught any fish yet.
We didn't let him dance or run by the edge of the canal, either. He didn't even fall in. He was just close. But he didn't go in. We wouldn't let him on any of the boats that were tied up by the canal, even though no one was in them. Then we kept on pointing out interesting things for him to look at, but yelled at him when he was in the way of bicyclists and runners and not listening to us because he was looking at interesting things.
Also, Owen was very thirsty. And tired of walking. And Felix got to ride in the stroller because he was a baby, but Owen had to keep walking. And he couldn't share Mommy's water bottle because he had been sick recently, and that wasn't fair either.
And he didn't even step in dog poop. He just almost stepped in dog poop. But he didn't actually step in it.
When we got to the bakery Owen was very excited. He was so excited about the brownie that he told us all about it. And when we weren't listening to him right away he told us about it even louder. And then, when he saw a cookie that looked good, he told everyone about it so loudly that the woman at the cash register was leaning backwards and workers in the back were poking their heads out to see what was the matter. And we took forever to decide which loaf of bread we were going to get, and with all those cookies there, guess what? We didn't even get a cookie. A croissant isn't is as good, and Owen didn't get to eat it right away, even though he kept on reminding everyone that we SHOULD eat it. And there was bottled water there and it didn't have a price tag on it, so it MIGHT have been free, but we didn't even check to see if it was free.
Then Owen had to stop throwing handfuls of gravel into the canal, even though James was doing it first. And Owen hardly ever gets to be the leader, and we told him to knock it off when he kept on running in front of James. And James was standing where Owen wanted to stand, but we yelled at Owen when he shoved James out of the way. And was Owen allowed to make a soup in the swamp by the wetland walk? Nope.
Owen wanted to read the letters of the graffiti on the boardwalk, but we told him not to read those words. Then he was really tired and wanted to be carried, but we wouldn't carry him, even though we definitely would have carried Felix if he was that tired.
We got a drink at the library and Owen didn't get to press the button in the elevator. And then when Owen found so many great books that he couldn't carry them all, we told him to only get as many books as he could carry. It's hard to carry that many books! And there are so many good ones! Then we went in another store and there were SO MANY COOL THINGS that Owen wanted to show them to everyone, but all we would ever say was "Stop touching that, Owen." And then everyone laughed at him because he pointed at a dog biscuit and said that he wanted to eat it.
Then Owen finally got to eat the croissant, and he needed a wipe off from a baby wipe, but he had to just sit there feeling sticky because everyone else eats too slow. And he was still hungry, but we had to go to Wegmans to get milk for Felix, and Owen really wanted to be in the steering wheel cart with Felix until he remembered how much fun it is to walk in Wegmans and NOT be in the cart...but then we wouldn't let him out of the cart!
And then Owen remembered about how there are free cookies at Wegmans, but we were SO mean to him and said "no cookies," and Owen told Mommy he didn't want her to be in our family anymore, and that made everyone feel terrible. And when we got back home Daddy made Owen carry in a stack of library books but there were two grown-up books in Owen's stack and grown-up book are way bigger than kids books, and Owen dropped them on the ground and ran inside.
And then Owen's lunch didn't taste good, and Daddy said that he couldn't have ice cream unless he finished his lunch and we NEVER get ice cream except of feast days and everyone else had some but Owen didn't get any.
II.
I sat there, eating my ice cream, hardly tasting it. What was Owen actually guilty of, that he was missing out on the ice cream for? When J came out with dishes for everyone except for him he tore away from the table yelling about how this was the "worst day in the woyld" and then hid behind the sofa, appearing only once to make a finger gun and shoot it at us.
Yes, he was out of control now. No, we couldn't give him ice cream. But geez, were we on his case all morning for anything other than being four? Of course he was acting four. He was getting into all of the trouble that James has outgrown and that Felix isn't big enough to try yet. And of course he was loud. He's Owen. Getting on his case for being noisier than the rest of his soft-spoken and mild-mannered family is just punishing him for his personality.
Even the row over finishing his lunch wasn't fair. He was eating a piece of disgusting leftover pizza--no one else wanted it. And why was it disgusting? Because James got to got to a special book lunch without Owen and made a pizza with chicken, bleu cheese, and pineapple. Owen was getting punished for being forced to eat his brother's leftovers that everyone else had turned their noses up at.
I rubbed my forehead and went looking for him. He was hiding behind the couch.
"Owen? Owen, come out. I want to talk to you."
"I wish I had got to eat some ice cream."
"I know. Hey, listen. Do you think maybe you didn't do such a great job making choices today?"
"I kind of want us to have ice cream again tomorrow."
"Yeah, maybe. Are you going to try to make some better choices?"
"Yeah." The stony look in his eyes started to come down, and I wondered if he was welling up.
"I don't think I was very patient this morning with everything that happened. Can I try to do a better job being your Dad tomorrow, and you can try to do a better job--"
"I'm sorry, Daddy." (He was crying now) "I got so mad at you 'cause you made me carry the grown up books and I threw them on the ground on purpose."
I let him cry on my shoulder for a minute and J came over, kneeling down and ready for Owen to apologize to her.
He brightened right up.
"I forgive you, Mommy."
III.
The boys on watching Raiders of the Lost Ark
James: "Actually, Owen, the Romans had the Lost Ark last. They carried it back for the Roman Empire after they sacked Jerusalem. So I think maybe some barbarians ended up with it after they stole it from Rome."
Owen: "Daddy, I wish the bad guys didn't have guns in Indiana Jones."
"You're right, it would be a lot less scary if--"
"No, I wish the good guys didn't have guns either."
"Well, it would be best if they didn't fight at--"
"I wish they all had LIGHTSABERS."
IV.
Owen: "It's so nice and peaceful up on the roof. I can see our neighbor's pool. I think we should go swimming in it."
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