At the Glen Iris

"Okay boys, so what are some things that we are going to remember about nice restaurant manners before we go in here?"
"Please and thank you!"
"Yes, those are good words to say. And also that we will use inside voices?"
"Yep!"
"And we will lean over the table when we eat?"
"Okay!"
"And we won't complain about our food if we don't like it?"
"I think I will get food that I like...like a hangaburgaburger!"

At the table
"Daddy, I have to go to the bathroom."
"Okay, Owen, follow me."
"Where is the bathroom?"
"Follow me and I'll show you wear it is."
"Wait, Daddy!"
"What is--"
Owen has pulled his shorts and underwear down in the middle of the restaurant and is waddling through the amused diners with his clothes around his ankles
"What are you doing? Pull your pants up!"
"But I have to go potty!"

Upon returning to the table
"Daddy, I have to go to the bathroom"
"Okay, James. Follow me. Try to keep all your clothes on until we actually get to the bathroom."
"Yes, yes. I will."
Owen, in his loudest voice, calling out to James across the dining room: "Be sure you hold your penis when you pee into the potty, James!"