“Smile, James!” v. “Smile, Owen!”

At the Glen Iris

"Okay boys, so what are some things that we are going to remember about nice restaurant manners before we go in here?"
"Please and thank you!"
"Yes, those are good words to say. And also that we will use inside voices?"
"Yep!"
"And we will lean over the table when we eat?"
"Okay!"
"And we won't complain about our food if we don't like it?"
"I think I will get food that I like...like a hangaburgaburger!"

At the table
"Daddy, I have to go to the bathroom."
"Okay, Owen, follow me."
"Where is the bathroom?"
"Follow me and I'll show you wear it is."
"Wait, Daddy!"
"What is--"
Owen has pulled his shorts and underwear down in the middle of the restaurant and is waddling through the amused diners with his clothes around his ankles
"What are you doing? Pull your pants up!"
"But I have to go potty!"

Upon returning to the table
"Daddy, I have to go to the bathroom"
"Okay, James. Follow me. Try to keep all your clothes on until we actually get to the bathroom."
"Yes, yes. I will."
Owen, in his loudest voice, calling out to James across the dining room: "Be sure you hold your penis when you pee into the potty, James!"

Snacks

James and Owen are sad. They are very, very sad. They are so sad because they just got up from their afternoon naps and I am not letting them have a snack. We are going to eat dinner in two hours, and that is so far away that they will probably starve. Also, the enormous lunch that they ate a few hours ago apparently wasn't enough to fill them up. Poor James and Owen.

Here is what they would like to eat:

Even one cherry
Penguin crackers
Veggie straws
Crackers
Chips
Dill pickles
Cheeseburgers or hamburgers
Hot dogs
Carrots and hummus
Cucumber slices
Graham crackers
Cheese slices
Apples
Applesauce
Blueberries
Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
Pepperoni or Chicken Charlie pizza
Cheese pizza
Grapes
Ice cream
Chocolate bars
Cake pops
Cake
Whipped cream
Strawberry yogurt
Strawberries
Yogurt and cookie butter
Nutella off the spoon
Parade candy
Even more parade candy
Chocolates
Burrito bowls
Fish
Chicken
Cracker jacks
Pancakes
Almonds
Hammelburgers (Owen hamburgers)
Fries
French fries
Rolls
Potatoes
Popcorn
Pudding
Jello
Fortune cookies
Sesame chicken
Ranch dressing
Apple juice
Green apples
Broccoli
Peas in the pod
Cinnamon
Smoothies
Toast
Bread
Eggs with ketchup
Peppermints
Salt and pepper
Pickled peppers
Regular peppers
Ice cubes
Bananas
Popsicles
Pepperoni slices
Donuts
Cookies
Barbecue sauce
Bacon
Baked beans
Brussel sprouts
Salsa
Avocados
Raisins
Oatmeal
Peanuts (suggested by Owen)
Biscuits
Celery
Some salads
All waffles
Waffle cones
Chicken nuggets
Maybe chili
Tomato soup

Things they wouldn't like to eat:
Felix's puffs
Beer
Black beans
Dates (Owen says they are okay)
Hot sauce
Milk (Owen and Felix say milk is okay)
Lemons
Lemon sauce
Mushrooms
Onions
Pumpkin soup

Camp

What the boys have done at camp so far (day 3):

Bleeding: James' lip, Owen's right hand, Owen's left hand, Owen's left elbow, Felix's head.

Singtime: Just James the first night, and then both James and Owen the second night

Climbing: For James, the big Houghton rock, two trees (from which he was able to get down successfully), and all of the furniture in our apartment. For Owen, the big Houghton rock (with some help), one tree (from which he was not able to get down successfully), and all the furniture in our apartment. For Felix, all of the steps in front of Luckey Hall, the big Houghton rock (with some help), and select furniture in our apartment.

Throwing: James: rocks, balls, nametags, handfuls of leaves and dirt. Owen: rocks, balls, James' toys, handfuls of leaves and dirt. Felix: applesauce, peas, mashed potatoes, granola, water bottles, cereal, pizza bites, veggie straws, balls, and handfuls of leaves and dirt. A note about Felix and rocks--he doesn't throw them, he chews on them.

Letters from Owen

Dear Aunt Martha,
You are my great friend. Happy Birthday to you! Well, I love you. You will be 23 on your birthday. I hope Mommy makes you a cake. What do you say, bunny on a bench? What do you say of a tree falling down on your head? And I hope you have a great time with having to play with me. Every time you go to your room I think it gets messy. And I like your sandbox--Nama and Papa's sandbox. I love you Aunt Martha, and I always think the room you sleep in looks messy. You should come to sleep at our house some time. We just had a baseball game, and I have a sticker from the baseball game, from the team we were rooting for, and they won! We were there for half the game. Felix is so sticky. Mommy is going to a party and only girls are allowed. Help me if I fall in the water at your house. A long time ago me and Uncle Lucas and James and Felix went to a hockey game. It was great there and it was really loud. Mommy couldn't come. I hope you have a great cake and love your birthday!
Love,
Owen

Dear Silas,
I love you Silas. You talk real good, too. If someone is on your head and a bunny fell on your head too, that would be an "uh-oh." We have a planet book. I'm going to bring it to your house. Would that be great? Every time Uncle Lucas gives you water, just bubble in your water. If he sinks in water, help him get out. Toilet paper. Ha ha! Happy Birthday to you. <belch> Excuse me! I have a watch! I was going to put that on the wrist. Did you know that? I hope you have a great time. I love you, Silas!
Love,
Owen

Dear Roland,
I guess James likes you, Roland! I have a football, but I have a soft one, too. And Happy Birthday to you. R-O-L-A-N-D.
Love,
Owen
Silas
Your best friend is mine other best friend, Silas. Luckily. And, that's all.

Dear Silas and Roland,
Do you know something? I have even more stuff that James and me like. We have three clocks, which is this many. (3) Happy Birthday! And I love you. I like you, Roland and Silas. I like drawing pictures to you. I love you. I like you. I love Jesus and I love you. Felix and James are great guys, too. Mommy and Daddy are pretty good, and I love them. They are pretty good at football. I am really faster than everybody. And I can go very, very fast on mine scooter. But I can go more than one hundred fast on mine tricycle. And even faster on mine scooter.
Love you, good bye,
Owen

Dear Silas,
I like you, but I don't like it when Roland scrambles your crown up and ruins my life. I don't like it when you cry. Thank you for Knight Camp and getting to sleep over with you. Thank you for helping me and be happy. There's going to be another Knight Camp. You're going to read these when it's almost time to go, but not quite time to go. Thank you for making mine life and fixing mine knee every day.
Love,
Owen
P.S. Thank you for making me happy. Thank you for making Felix cry. Thank you for our pictures of "A" and "B."

Dear Aunt Martha,
Thank you for making me so happy to see you. Thank you for making me not going to naptime and having a rest time. Thank you for having mine life to be very happy and making me happy at your house. Tell Silas he has a green toy and sometimes I want to come to your house. And thank you for having mine life to be very happy and for being in my life. And God, thank you for having me up. Thank you for making me a piggy bank--but I don't have one! Thank you for having mine life to begin. And having time with me. Silas and James had rest time in the barn. And thank you for getting me to be happy. Thank you for having me to begin. Thank you for making a house. And making a light.
Love,
Owen

Dear Roland,
Thank you for having mine life to begin again. Thank you for being in mine life again. I have a great friend. Do you know who it is? It is a guy I like who is a girl. Know who it is? Aubrey! We need to get all of your books out of our house. We don't like them. I like your toy, but I don't like it when it makes noise. That's kind of scary. Thank you for making Jesus dead and making a pumfrey and a window thing and for making us...DOORS!!!
Love,
Owen