Conversations

I. Conversations with Owen
"Ah wahn ah-dee."
"You want...Daddy?"
"Umm...no. Ah wahn ah-dee."
"Candy?"
"Nooo! Ah nee' ah-dee."
"Potty?"
"Ummm...No! Ah-dee. Ah-dee, Mahmmy, ah wahn ah-dee!"

II. Conversations with Clowns
Wendell is a nonogenerian friend to the boys at my church. He is rather frail and mostly deaf, but he always waves hello to them and asks about them when they aren't there. Last Sunday I brought them into the sanctuary in the fifteen minutes between the end of my rehearsal and the beginning of the service so that they could each have a piece of "nah-ee." (Candy) They picked out tootsie pops, marveled at the big Christmas tree, and then set about rolling around under the pews and smearing sucker gloop all over their mouths and hands.
Wendell walked over and sat down beside me on the pew. He told me how well behaved they always are, and about how he used to get kids to laugh when he was a clown. And I smiled and asked, "You used to be a clown?" And then Wendell told me ALL about being a clown. About how his costume was blue and yellow and he had it specially made, and he donated all his old toys to the church and they were probably still in storage, as far as he knew. And how he taught lots of other clowns, but there was some fierce competition to see who the best clown was. And how his biggest rival was a clown called "Apples," and that Apples loved to see his picture in the paper and that was why Apples knocked him down one time when Wendell was visiting a sick girl in the hospital and a newspaperman tried to take a picture of Wendell the clown and the little girl, and Apples didn't even like kids and called them "little bastards" when they weren't around. (James and Owen were still rolling around underneath me.) And then he told me all about driving down to Florida for a clown competition and how all the clowns were dancing in a circle, at least 90 of them (this is the point where J would be desperately trying to wake up from her nightmare) and he had forgotten his clown shoes on top of the car, but Apples was still bounced out of the circle ahead of him, and that made him cry because Wendell was still in even though he wasn't even wearing his clown shoes.
Then the service started, and the boys asked if they could have more "nah-ee" afterwards.

I. Conversations with Owen, continued
"Ah-dee, ah-dee!"
"Abby? You want to see Abby?"
"Ooh, Abby! No! Ah wahn ah-dee!"
"Umm...an apple?"
"No, no apple. Ah-dee."
"Adding?"
"Ah-dee."
"Ah-dee?"
"Yea, ah-dee. Pee ah' wahn ah-dee?"
"I don't know what it is!"

III. A different conversation with Owen
"Okay, we're going to go upstairs and turn on the TV."
"Oooh, yea!!!"
"It's almost time for the Bills game! Do you want to watch Buffalo?"
"Buh-buh-bo! Buh-buh-bo! Go buh-buh-bo!"
<sudden inexplicable sad face>
"No puh-ing."
"No punting?"
"Yea, no puh-ing."

I. The original conversation with Owen
"Ah-dee! Ah-dee! Ah wahn ah-dee!"
"Daddy? Are you sure it isn't Daddy?"
"No, ah-dee!"
"Owen...I have no idea."
"AHSS...."
"Ice?"
"DEEEE..."
"Oh, ice cream?"
"Yea!!!! Ah-dee!"
"Ice cream! That was it!"
"Yea, ah-dee!"
"Yeah, no. No ice cream."
"AHH!!!!"