Complaints

One of the advantages of keeping a blog is that you can use it to vent from time to time. Feeling particularly upset and stressed out about the state of affairs in the world in general and in my life in particular, here are some things I'd like to get off my chest.

I.
A New York Times photographer was snapping pictures of me in rehearsal this morning. I'd forgotten, of course, that the paper was sending a reporter to do a story on the orchestra and to take some candid shots in rehearsal. I had, fortunately, showered and shaved this morning, but was wearing an old flannel shirt and hiking boots. Chances are my photo won't be used, but I have found myself on the front page of a major news organization symphony feature before, and it makes you wish you knew you were going to be photographed in advance.

Whatever this person writes in the article, I'm very much hoping that the leading sentence isn't "As a frustrated trumpet player spectacularly missed the high note, the chorus swelled into the climax of the 1812 Overture." I currently have a mouth full of canker sores, and playing the trumpet isn't particularly easy or comfortable when you have to press against them. With a few days off they would probably go away, but I've been playing the 1812 Overture all week...and I have an audition (with a non-refundable plane ticket and non-refundable hotel room already booked) on Monday.

Speaking of trumpet concerns, I have four big folders of music to learn (on top of all the audition rep) for the next few weeks, including a Rossini opera I'm playing principal on (which is nearly as boring as it is immensely long, but will require preparing the whole thing ahead of time to get the starts and stops and tempo changes), a concert in Rochester with screechy piccolo notes, lots of mixed meter/minimalist rhythms and exposed soft playing, five kiddie shows in Syracuse, a family concert in Buffalo, and then a full Phils week back in Syracuse.

That's a lot of music to tackle. If this sounds ungrateful, it shouldn't. I'm really glad to have the work. But I want to do my job well, and circumstances are working against me.

II.
I was thinking on the drive in this morning about how much of what I see on a daily basis is just a grab at my wallet. To be fair, I VOLUNTARILY went to a mall yesterday to try to find some boots and shirts in my size. Perhaps it was being in a state of retail glut for several hours that made me look at my iPhone in disgust whenever I pulled it out to see that the News app (native advertisements), Facebook (razor advertisements) the Crossword (silly game advertisements), my email (messages from Amazon, Mint, Priceline, and my coffee bean supplier) were all trying to get into my wallet. I drove past endless billboards on the thruway, of course, and now I'm sitting at a Wegmans and typing on my computer, which keeps on flashing messages about upgrading my anti-virus software. So me writing this blog in a state of grumpy semi-disgust is my non-monetary contribution to the world today. And, yes, I hear myself, and I sound old.

III.
Much, much more seriously, at least 32 people were killed this morning in a suicide attack in California. Did I say California? I meant Baghdad. If this had happened in California, I would have heard about it right away, I'm sure. On the other hand, I wouldn't have known about 32 Iraqis dying from my News app, because the leading stories on that feed are about a certain television personality (who happens to be running for President, by the way) saying more horrible things about women, a College football preview for this weekend, 8 Hidden Benefits of Your Costco Membership (That's a USA Today feature, and apparently NOT a Costco advertisement), and a Bloomberg feature on how to "Stop Monday from Ruining Your Sunday."
So yes, 32 people died today in the al-Shaab market. To put that in context, that's four times more human beings who just died than there are Hidden Benefits of a Costco Membership.
<Stomach turning>
If the death of 32 Iraqi human beings wasn't upsetting enough, the Saudi government acknowledged today that they in fact were responsible for the bombing of a Yemeni funeral which killed 140 people and injured 600. (The bombing was, by the way, carried out with logistical support by the United States and used arms supplied by the UK.)
I don't think that the presidential race is unimportant, but I will say this about the Republican candidate: Please don't pay any more attention to him. Please don't click on any more stories that confirm what we all already know about him. Once this election is over and he's been soundly thrashed, let's make him go away. A year from now it is entirely possible that he will still be the first face I see on the front page of my News app, offering some crackpot line about how he WOULD have sorted out the bad guys if he'd been elected, or being implicated in some other scandal. This is what he wants. He doesn't want to be President, he wants people to pay attention to him. And let's not pay attention to him, so long as the Saudis are bombing funeral homes full of innocent people (and only apologizing when they realize that they didn't kill some Houthi leaders along with the innocents) and the Iraqi government security forces can't guarantee that there citizens are safe to walk down to the market to buy groceries.

So those are my complaints for today. I DO feel a little better, having written them down. Probably I just need a good night's sleep and a day at home with J and the boys, and I would be all sorted out. But at the very least, if there's a picture of me in the New York Times next week wearing an unironed shirt and making a strained-looking high note/pooping face, I feel a little better about knowing that apparently the news doesn't count for much anyway.