Our meter-reader was trying to be neighborly. He apparently noticed our garbage bin knocked over in the lawn and dragged it back into place. He then rang the doorbell and experienced the following events in quick succession:
-Me stumbling to the door as quickly as possible and knocking over a bunch of metal trumpet mutes in the process from where I was working in the basement.
-Felix startling awake from his nap and letting out an angry howl
-The raucous collection of noises that only Owen can make upon departing from one room and entering another, including slamming both doors and apparently contacting multiple walls at high speed.
-Owen's summons a minute later as I stood talking with him in the doorway that he "needs a wipe"
-Owen's loud analysis of his diharrea spatter pattern (he was so excited about the way that it looked that he didn't mind having wrecked a pair of underwear and pajamas) and my increasingly frustrated exclamations that he not move and how on earth did he get it all the way over here?
-Me running back down the stairs (with Felix still screaming) with a set of ruined clothes
-Owen marching down the stairs naked swinging his arms (among other body parts) and announcing the arrival of "The Incredible Naked Boy!"
Thursday, February 27, 2020
Monday, February 10, 2020
Two Upset Stomachs
I.
J forgot to pack a lunch today, so all she ate at work between meetings was a donut and some chex mix. I think she might have felt a little sick even if she'd packed a proper meal. As it was, she said that she "threw up a little in her mouth" when she heard. Her co-worker, apparently, reacted similarly when she shared.
I was washing dishes after our lunch when Owen told me that I needed to stop Felix right away.
"What's he doing?"
"Drinking."
"What's wrong with that?"
"He's in the bathroom."
"Is he using your sippy cup or something?"
"No, he's drinking from the toilet."
And he was.
He was dipping the hand towel into the toilet water and then sucking on it.
"I thirsty. I having a drink," he said by way of explanation.
When I yanked the sopping wet towel out of his hands he wiped up a little of the water that had spilled on the toilet seat with his hand and then patted it on his face.
"I clean myself."
II.
I was practicing down in the basement when I heard someone step on the stair.
I kept on going, waiting to hear if they were going to keep on coming down. No, they were sneaking. So it was definitely Owen.
There was another step, and then another step a few seconds later.
"Yes?" I called.
Owen poked a grinning head out from the edge of the basement steps.
"James says that you forgot to give him his medicine and that his head still hurts."
James had been complaining of a headache for most of the evening, and I had promised to give him some Tylenol if it was still hurting at bedtime. I got caught up in putting Felix down, and had forgotten about it.
"Okay," I said "tell James I'll be up in a couple of minutes."
"But Daddy," explained Owen "bad news--my tummy hurts."
He said this with the grin of a child who is perfectly happy to be out of bed at 8:07 PM.
"So I need some medicine too."
I looked at him skeptically.
"I think you're fine."
"NOOOO!!! I need some medicine like James."
"Head upstairs and see what I'll see what I can do for you."
"But my head is really hurting!"
"I thought you said your tummy is hurting."
"Yeah, I mean my tummy."
I finished up what I was working on and loaded up two oral syringes, one with 10 ml of Children's Tylenol and one with 4 ml of tap water.
James was patiently reading in bed when I went up and was grateful for the medicine. Owen couldn't believe that he was actually getting some medicine, let alone some special "Tylenol Placebo" which is especially for tummy-aches, and especially for younger brothers.
He's feeling better already.
J forgot to pack a lunch today, so all she ate at work between meetings was a donut and some chex mix. I think she might have felt a little sick even if she'd packed a proper meal. As it was, she said that she "threw up a little in her mouth" when she heard. Her co-worker, apparently, reacted similarly when she shared.
I was washing dishes after our lunch when Owen told me that I needed to stop Felix right away.
"What's he doing?"
"Drinking."
"What's wrong with that?"
"He's in the bathroom."
"Is he using your sippy cup or something?"
"No, he's drinking from the toilet."
And he was.
He was dipping the hand towel into the toilet water and then sucking on it.
"I thirsty. I having a drink," he said by way of explanation.
When I yanked the sopping wet towel out of his hands he wiped up a little of the water that had spilled on the toilet seat with his hand and then patted it on his face.
"I clean myself."
II.
I was practicing down in the basement when I heard someone step on the stair.
I kept on going, waiting to hear if they were going to keep on coming down. No, they were sneaking. So it was definitely Owen.
There was another step, and then another step a few seconds later.
"Yes?" I called.
Owen poked a grinning head out from the edge of the basement steps.
"James says that you forgot to give him his medicine and that his head still hurts."
James had been complaining of a headache for most of the evening, and I had promised to give him some Tylenol if it was still hurting at bedtime. I got caught up in putting Felix down, and had forgotten about it.
"Okay," I said "tell James I'll be up in a couple of minutes."
"But Daddy," explained Owen "bad news--my tummy hurts."
He said this with the grin of a child who is perfectly happy to be out of bed at 8:07 PM.
"So I need some medicine too."
I looked at him skeptically.
"I think you're fine."
"NOOOO!!! I need some medicine like James."
"Head upstairs and see what I'll see what I can do for you."
"But my head is really hurting!"
"I thought you said your tummy is hurting."
"Yeah, I mean my tummy."
I finished up what I was working on and loaded up two oral syringes, one with 10 ml of Children's Tylenol and one with 4 ml of tap water.
James was patiently reading in bed when I went up and was grateful for the medicine. Owen couldn't believe that he was actually getting some medicine, let alone some special "Tylenol Placebo" which is especially for tummy-aches, and especially for younger brothers.
He's feeling better already.
Sunday, February 2, 2020
Super Bowl Live Blog
6:07 I just went upstairs to join the boys (who have been watching the pregame), and Julie brought up our Super Bowl junk food. First mention of Bill Belichik. (boo)
Super Bowl Predictions:
James: Uhh, I don't know. Three pizza bites, please.
Owen: It's gonna be a good one.
James: I think there's going to be a lot of touchdowns.
Felix: A superbowl happenin' in the game.
J: Chiefs 31-49ers 28
Me: 4 food spills on the bed.
<Breaking now to eat some junk food>
6:18 The Rock's thing was corny. Also, I'm watching Sammy Watkins run out onto the field and I just can't root for the Chiefs.
6:20 Julie knows Yolanda Adams is, but none of the rest of us.
Felix "I see football. OOHH! More football."
6:26 I'm trying to do the taxes and parent at the same time as live-blogging (and maybe watching a bit of the game), so I have no comment on God Bless America. I wasn't paying attention.
6:36 Watching a turbotax commercial while doing my taxes on turbotax. J notes that she would like to see Mulan in the theater.
I wonder if there is a way that that trip could be a business expense.
6:39 I've been watching a bunch of kids run around and shouldn't there be a game by now?
6:45 Computer crashed, but I didn't lose what I'd written. Owen is trying to steal more food even thought J has repeatedly told him he's done. Felix wiped his face on the laptop screen. He'd been eating cucumbers. Also, first first down goes to the 49ers.
6:46 First spill to Owen by frog-hopping on the bed. Felix says his new name is Mommy.
"Oh, you're Mommy. I not Mommy and I not Daddy. I Felix."
6:48 "Owen, if you're going to bounce and distract us on purpose you're going to need to get down off the bed."
6:49 Top blanket removed because it has sauce and crumbs on it.
6:49 Owen is under two weighted blankets. I don't think he's going to be causing any more problems.
6:50 Owen is under two weighted blankets and a Felix. He isn't happy about this.
7:01 Owen to Felix: "Get offa me, you wummox!"
7:07 There's been a temporary peace established between Felix and Owen, but it's all going to go away when they get more snacks at the end of the first quarter. Also, super interesting decision to go for it on 4th and 1 inside the 10. Audentes fortuna iuvat
7:09 Speaking of Latin, James and Owen were supposed to color pictures of Jesus calling the disciples to be fishers of men. James colored some people and added some Latin sayings. Owen drew a picture of himself fighting a shark.
7:21 Felix and Owen are having a spectacular fight over the last piece of broccoli. There's no way we're going to let them stay up for the whole game.
7:28 Another big 4th down gamble pays off. Felix is sucking down a huge bottle of water after eating a bunch of fried food. Here's hoping I don't draw the diaper change in the morning. Owen is concerned that Mommy didn't clean the carrots thoroughly enough.
7:29 James is actually into the game. He's probably seen a lot more of it than I have. I'm done with working on the taxes for the night. Still missing one W-2, so I can't go any further without that.
7:34 Begging for food time again. There is a single pig in a blanket left and Owen is begging for it. (Mostly by touching it a lot.)
7:38 Owen: "I hope my belly gets so big like Garfield's!"
7:38 Touchdown 49ers while Owen was in the bathroom
7:39 Felix and James are having a kicking-each-other fight. I love it when they're all on our bed.
It's worth stating, if you haven't seen our bedroom, that there's no place to sit except the bed if you want to watch TV. Sometimes we'll bring up some lawn chairs, but that leads to even more violence than all being on the bed if you let the boys into them.
7:42 It's weird to see the Dolphin's stadium so full
7:44 I switched to beer once I was done working on the taxes. Now I feel really full.
7:50 I wonder whether these kids are especially farty tonight, or whether we're just noticing more because we're in such close proximity.
7:51 Owen is legit bawling because J ate the last pizza roll. The tears are so sad. And we are all laughing. It is time for bed. (Felix is crying too, or at least trying to.)
7:52 Now Felix is walking around with his shirt pulled over his head and cackling devilishly.
"I stuck my shirt on my head!"
7:55 Owen is officially our first child to ask for his own smartphone. "It looks cool to have and you can do lots of different things." He's crying again, but not about being denied the phone. He's still ticked about the last pizza roll.
7:56 Owen's laughing now. But he wants to know why he has to wait until he's grown up to have a phone. Also, now Felix is loudly insisting that he needs a cell phone.
8:00 Felix is rolling all over the bed and kicked over the laptop. Also, I smell a ripe diaper.
8:01 J: "Skinny coach on the sideline is mad."
James: Uncontrollable laughter, his first sounds in an hour
8:09 Owen is in bed. I had to pry him (twice) off a death grip on the bedframe. The second time he was biting the blanket. He is now crying because we are watching the game without him. Our plan is to let him fall asleep and then to get James up to watch the rest of the game with us. He gave me a huge awkward looking wink as I shut his door.
8:25 The kids are in bed and we are in the cheap-looking local commercial segment. This might be a lot less interesting without the little ones around, but I bet we'll catch a good bit more of the game.
8:27 For example, I just learned that it's currently a tie game.
8:31 Owen, apparently, is asleep. James just came back in
8:32 Turns out he was pretending. J has now bolted the door shut.
8:35 49ers are playing angry. Nice to see aggressive downfield run-blocking.
8:39 I forgot that Reggie Ragland is on the Chiefs as well. Not sure he counts as an ex-Bill, though.
8:41 There are noises outside our door. Somebody is hanging on the doorknob. Either we're experiencing a home invasion or Owen is out of bed.
8:42 Announcers just talked about Robbie Gould having kicked in the same stadium for the Bears in the Chicago-Indy Super Bowl. Fun Fact--I flew into the Miami airport the day after that Super Bowl (to play a week with New World) and it was packed with very sad looking Bears fans.
8:45 "I just wanna know where James is. Where's James?"
8:49 We're talking through the logistics of tomorrow (I'm in double opera rehearsals, J has church meetings, private students, and then flute choir downtown) and it's not easy to pay attention to the game.
8:51 Ugly pick by Mahomes
8:55 Good analysis to show why that pick happened
8:57 SF up by 10.
9:03 James observes that there is a lot of red in this Super Bowl.
9:09 I got up to take my contacts out and there is definitely still noise coming from Owen's room. 4th quarter starting.
9:13 Another pick. That one might be the back-breaker.
9:24 I can't tell whether James is interested in the LEGO masters show or not.
He and I have been sorting his LEGOs into bags by color, and then building "fleets" of ships in each color. James has the black fleet, Owen the red, and Felix the white. The gray ships are the bad guys. There are some complex stories for the green, pink/purple, brown, and blue.
9:33 Too tired to keep going. I blame Owen.
Super Bowl Predictions:
James: Uhh, I don't know. Three pizza bites, please.
Owen: It's gonna be a good one.
James: I think there's going to be a lot of touchdowns.
Felix: A superbowl happenin' in the game.
J: Chiefs 31-49ers 28
Me: 4 food spills on the bed.
<Breaking now to eat some junk food>
6:18 The Rock's thing was corny. Also, I'm watching Sammy Watkins run out onto the field and I just can't root for the Chiefs.
6:20 Julie knows Yolanda Adams is, but none of the rest of us.
Felix "I see football. OOHH! More football."
6:26 I'm trying to do the taxes and parent at the same time as live-blogging (and maybe watching a bit of the game), so I have no comment on God Bless America. I wasn't paying attention.
6:36 Watching a turbotax commercial while doing my taxes on turbotax. J notes that she would like to see Mulan in the theater.
I wonder if there is a way that that trip could be a business expense.
6:39 I've been watching a bunch of kids run around and shouldn't there be a game by now?
6:45 Computer crashed, but I didn't lose what I'd written. Owen is trying to steal more food even thought J has repeatedly told him he's done. Felix wiped his face on the laptop screen. He'd been eating cucumbers. Also, first first down goes to the 49ers.
6:46 First spill to Owen by frog-hopping on the bed. Felix says his new name is Mommy.
"Oh, you're Mommy. I not Mommy and I not Daddy. I Felix."
6:48 "Owen, if you're going to bounce and distract us on purpose you're going to need to get down off the bed."
6:49 Top blanket removed because it has sauce and crumbs on it.
6:49 Owen is under two weighted blankets. I don't think he's going to be causing any more problems.
6:50 Owen is under two weighted blankets and a Felix. He isn't happy about this.
7:01 Owen to Felix: "Get offa me, you wummox!"
7:07 There's been a temporary peace established between Felix and Owen, but it's all going to go away when they get more snacks at the end of the first quarter. Also, super interesting decision to go for it on 4th and 1 inside the 10. Audentes fortuna iuvat
7:09 Speaking of Latin, James and Owen were supposed to color pictures of Jesus calling the disciples to be fishers of men. James colored some people and added some Latin sayings. Owen drew a picture of himself fighting a shark.
7:21 Felix and Owen are having a spectacular fight over the last piece of broccoli. There's no way we're going to let them stay up for the whole game.
7:28 Another big 4th down gamble pays off. Felix is sucking down a huge bottle of water after eating a bunch of fried food. Here's hoping I don't draw the diaper change in the morning. Owen is concerned that Mommy didn't clean the carrots thoroughly enough.
7:29 James is actually into the game. He's probably seen a lot more of it than I have. I'm done with working on the taxes for the night. Still missing one W-2, so I can't go any further without that.
7:34 Begging for food time again. There is a single pig in a blanket left and Owen is begging for it. (Mostly by touching it a lot.)
7:38 Owen: "I hope my belly gets so big like Garfield's!"
7:38 Touchdown 49ers while Owen was in the bathroom
7:39 Felix and James are having a kicking-each-other fight. I love it when they're all on our bed.
It's worth stating, if you haven't seen our bedroom, that there's no place to sit except the bed if you want to watch TV. Sometimes we'll bring up some lawn chairs, but that leads to even more violence than all being on the bed if you let the boys into them.
7:42 It's weird to see the Dolphin's stadium so full
7:44 I switched to beer once I was done working on the taxes. Now I feel really full.
7:50 I wonder whether these kids are especially farty tonight, or whether we're just noticing more because we're in such close proximity.
7:51 Owen is legit bawling because J ate the last pizza roll. The tears are so sad. And we are all laughing. It is time for bed. (Felix is crying too, or at least trying to.)
7:52 Now Felix is walking around with his shirt pulled over his head and cackling devilishly.
"I stuck my shirt on my head!"
7:55 Owen is officially our first child to ask for his own smartphone. "It looks cool to have and you can do lots of different things." He's crying again, but not about being denied the phone. He's still ticked about the last pizza roll.
7:56 Owen's laughing now. But he wants to know why he has to wait until he's grown up to have a phone. Also, now Felix is loudly insisting that he needs a cell phone.
8:00 Felix is rolling all over the bed and kicked over the laptop. Also, I smell a ripe diaper.
8:01 J: "Skinny coach on the sideline is mad."
James: Uncontrollable laughter, his first sounds in an hour
8:09 Owen is in bed. I had to pry him (twice) off a death grip on the bedframe. The second time he was biting the blanket. He is now crying because we are watching the game without him. Our plan is to let him fall asleep and then to get James up to watch the rest of the game with us. He gave me a huge awkward looking wink as I shut his door.
8:25 The kids are in bed and we are in the cheap-looking local commercial segment. This might be a lot less interesting without the little ones around, but I bet we'll catch a good bit more of the game.
8:27 For example, I just learned that it's currently a tie game.
8:31 Owen, apparently, is asleep. James just came back in
8:32 Turns out he was pretending. J has now bolted the door shut.
8:35 49ers are playing angry. Nice to see aggressive downfield run-blocking.
8:39 I forgot that Reggie Ragland is on the Chiefs as well. Not sure he counts as an ex-Bill, though.
8:41 There are noises outside our door. Somebody is hanging on the doorknob. Either we're experiencing a home invasion or Owen is out of bed.
8:42 Announcers just talked about Robbie Gould having kicked in the same stadium for the Bears in the Chicago-Indy Super Bowl. Fun Fact--I flew into the Miami airport the day after that Super Bowl (to play a week with New World) and it was packed with very sad looking Bears fans.
8:45 "I just wanna know where James is. Where's James?"
8:49 We're talking through the logistics of tomorrow (I'm in double opera rehearsals, J has church meetings, private students, and then flute choir downtown) and it's not easy to pay attention to the game.
8:51 Ugly pick by Mahomes
8:55 Good analysis to show why that pick happened
8:57 SF up by 10.
9:03 James observes that there is a lot of red in this Super Bowl.
9:09 I got up to take my contacts out and there is definitely still noise coming from Owen's room. 4th quarter starting.
9:13 Another pick. That one might be the back-breaker.
9:24 I can't tell whether James is interested in the LEGO masters show or not.
He and I have been sorting his LEGOs into bags by color, and then building "fleets" of ships in each color. James has the black fleet, Owen the red, and Felix the white. The gray ships are the bad guys. There are some complex stories for the green, pink/purple, brown, and blue.
9:33 Too tired to keep going. I blame Owen.
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