Year 6

Today was the first rehearsal of my sixth season in (silly name redacted for privacy) orchestra. Here are some things I know, going into my sixth year, that I didn't going into my first.

-The first rehearsal after the summer break and the first rehearsal after the winter break are the best your chops will feel all year. Eventually you just come around to feeling like sore and beat up is normal, and fresh and rested is an unusual day.

-Lipping up all the time wastes your face, and playing loud all the time wastes your face, but lipping up while playing as loud as you can is a great way to be toast after five minutes.

-All the method books work on getting the fronts of notes to speak right, but most of the time on the job it's the ends of notes that make you feel silly.

-Don't eat or drink anything during the rehearsal if you can help it, and try to go pretty light on the lunch in between

-Even if you don't like chapstick, you still have to wear chapstick

-You have to be able to distinguish the genuine conductor feedback (stuff they actually heard and want fixed) from the stock phrases that they trot out because they're up in front of everyone and feel like they should talk. Nod appreciatively at both, but you don't have to actually do anything different if they start going on about "playing right on the stick."

-Stay hydrated. Don't drink too much coffee.

-80% of your missed notes won't be because you're doing something wrong technically, just because you aren't quite focused. So drink enough coffee to be alert.

-15% of your missed notes could have been solved by sitting down with the part ahead of time and giving it a thorough enough look to figure out where the problem spots are going to be.

-But if you only have an hour to practice and a bunch of folders of new music, it's better to spend the hour on keeping your fundamentals up. Because you can't play anything when your chops are messed up.

-99% of the time you don't need to play as loud as you think you do.

James' Latin Lesson

Lesson III
Vocabulary
fortuna--fortune, chance (fortunate)
Gallia--Gaul
herba--plant, herb (herbivore)
mensa--table
nauta--sailor (Nautilus)
terra--land, earth (territory)
via--road, way (Via Dolorosa)
clamo--I shout (clamor)
porto--I carry (portable, transport)
supero--I overcome, surpass (superior)

"Okay James, we're going to finish up with some work on the derivatives--I'm going to ask you for some English words that are derived from the Latin vocabulary. Are you ready?"
"Sure."
"Question 1: Something light enough to carry is _____?"
"Umm...potable."
"Well, not quite. Potable means you can drink it, that's a derivative from another Latin verb that we'll learn later."
"Right, portable."
"Yes. Question 2: When the settlers moved west, they went through Indian ______?"
"Uh."
"Through Indian____?"
"Uh. Through Indiana."
"Well, I suppose some have them might have gone through Indiana, but what was the name of the land that the Indians owned that the settlers passed through?"
"Oh, Indian territory."
"Question 3. You are ______ to be able to study Latin."
"Umm...Dolorosa?"
"James."
"I am able to be able to study Latin?"
"What's another way to say lucky? From fortuna?"
"What?"
"Fortunate. You are fortunate to be able to study Latin."
"I guess so."
"Question 4. Latin study will make you a ________ student."
<Thoughtful look>
"Latin study will make me a Latin student."

Owen Announcement

Every afternoon for the past few days I’ve been taking them outside, sticking a flag into the pocket of my shorts, and shouting “Go!” The kids chase me all over the yard and try to grab the flag out of my pocket, and when one of them gets it they each get an Oreo. It’s a great way to tire them out and get some exercise.

Owen got the flag out today, and he wants everyone in the world to know how he did it, ESPECIALLY (for reasons best known to him) Ms. Jane. He pulled my shorts down.

I actually managed to keep on running for a good bit after the initial yank (and one of my shoes had come off too) but Owen pulled the flag out in the end while James laughed hysterically on the grass. And now Owen needs EVERYONE to know.

So, congratulations to Owen on your athletic triumph.

2019 Buffalo Bills Season Predictions

QB-Josh Allen will just miss the 3,000 yard mark because of multiple injuries. He will throw for over 20 touchdowns but will come dangerously close to 20 interceptions as well, largely of the "throwing across your body into double coverage while running the other way variety." They will sign a third QB at some point to back up Barkley while Allen is out, and this QB probably will have played for the Carolina Panthers organization sometime in the past five years.

RB-The position will look a lot better than it did last year, but Gore will be more reliable than Singletary. Look for lots of drops in the flat/underthrown balls bouncing at their feet. Singletary kind of looks like he could be a fumbler.

WR-Someone is going to have a dreadful 4th quarter drop that costs the team a game, and that person could be anyone in the WR room, but is most likely going to be Zay Jones. (It could also, channeling the ghost of Charles Clay, be a tight end.) Robert Foster will have at least one game with 3 plays over 50 yards, but will probably end up getting cut before the season is over.

TE-Dawson Knox will lead the team in false starts. Lee Smith is a good candidate to say something racist/Trumpy enough to make national news.

OL-We all will have forgotten that the team signed Mitch Morse by season's end, because he will have been on IR since Week 2. Dion Dawkins will be quietly excellent and Feliciano will be quietly mediocre, but Feliciano will seem like the bigger deal since RG was such a revolving door last year.

DE-Someone is poised to have a big year working off the single team blocking that Ed Oliver causes, and it might be Jerry Hughes. (This might also be the year that Jerry Hughes actually gets ejected from a game.) Overall not an area of strength, though, and the draftniks will all be talking about how the Bills are one good pass-rusher away from being a quality defense.

DT-Star Lotulelei is the next middle of the season (or middle of a game) retirement. Ed Oliver will be nothing flashy statistically but will quietly dominate the line of scrimmage.

LB-Tremaine Edmunds leads the team in interceptions, but also in dumb plays when he's caught looking into the backfield and lets the tight end get away. Matt Milano probably can't keep pace with all the big plays from a year ago, and Lorenzo Alexander will have at least four sacks.

CB-There will be at least one game when neither Tre'Davious White or Levi Wallace is healthy enough to start. White will have an amazing year and won't get into the Pro Bowl.

S-They're both really good, so hopefully they stay healthy. I see either one of these guys as prime candidates for hosting another round of "The Bills' 12 Days of Christmas"

Special Teams-This could be rough. Hauschka will be fine as long somebody tells him before each extra point that it's really a field goal in disguise. Bojorquez is cut by week two. Isaiah McKenzie will get maybe two returns and will break both of them big, but for some reason or another Micah Hyde will end up handling most of the return duties and just kneeling/fair catching everything.

Coaching-Quotes to expect from this year:
<clap clap clap>
"We have a lot of confidence in Josh, and we know he'll bounce back quickly from this and use it as a losing opportunity."
"We really respect their organization, and we think it's just a very small minority of our fans that engage in that kind of behavior. I certainly don't think that it's an appropriate object to throw onto a football field."
"We just want to put our guys in the best position to make a play, and we really think that having a fullback on the field is the way to do that.

BONUS James Owen and Felix football predictions
James will be distraught when he loses his football for good due to the stitching unraveling. (Again.)
Owen will finally pick a team and stick with it, and it will be the Bills.
Felix will learn to stop biting people once he's tackled them.