Saturday, September 6, 2014

2014 Buffalo Bills Season Preview

It's time again to camp out at Hilltop on Sunday afternoons and either ascend into irrational euphoria (to the confusion of our children and the chagrin of our wives) or to descend into bottomless depression (to the confusion of our children and the chagrin of our wives) every Sunday by 4:00 Eastern Football Time. The Bills are back! And this year is going to be OUR YEAR, because if it isn't our year we've already mortgaged next year to the Cleveland Browns in the form of our first round draft pick. (Number 32, of course.)

What should we expect this year?
QB: Despite the fact that he's had a shaky preseason and appears to have regressed in some (most) of his important developmental areas, I have high hopes for EJ Manuel this year. Why, you ask? Because of chance. I figure that with slightly over half of the teams in the league fielding serviceable starter-quality quarterbacks, we are statistically guaranteed to have come up with a quality player at the quarterback position. You can argue about how many of those quarterbacks are really "elite" (whatever that means) vs. just serviceable, but by my count half the quarterbacks in the league don't have to worry about being supplanted by some new project at the end of the year. (Brady, Tannehill, Flacco, Roethlisberger, Dalton, Rivers, Manning, Smith, Luck, Romo, Foles, Griffin, Manning, Cutler, Rodgers, Stafford, Brees, Ryan, Newton, Kaepernick, Wilson). Okay, so that's 21, more like 2/3rds of the league. Yes, probably one or two of those guys will have a bad a year or a bad injury, and there might be a conversation. But for the majority of them, they are the answer to their team's woes. If an NFL team comes out of your gate with a quality quarterback 66% of the time, what are the odds that your guy is going to end up on the garbage heap for the 10th time in a row? So, EJ, the coin is going to come up heads on you.

HB: Nobody gets a thousand yards. Fred is his usual solid self and averages 4.something per carry of intelligent situational running. He still gets the ball when they need a third down conversion or a touchdown. CJ, as much as I love him will either get hurt or be streaky. I fully expect him to have two 150+ yard games. And then he'll have a game where he gets 8 yards on 9 carries. By season's end he will be the highest paid running back in the NFL. Either Brown or Dixon will come in for one game and score a bunch of touchdowns, and they'll be rewarded with a bunch more carries the next week, but they won't do as well and then everyone will get all ticked off that CJ wasn't used more.

WR: Speaking of Freddie, he will lead the team in receptions. Sammy Watkins will have a nice rookie season and flash some dominance here and there, but I don't expect him to have 1000+ yards or more than 5 touchdowns. Hogan will have the 2nd highest reception total and at some point Mike Williams will throw a hissy fit about getting the ball.

OL: Glenn and Woods will be awesome. Pears will be a bit of a tire fire at guard, and someone will get it in their head that Kouandjiou ought to be playing guard. People will ask Doug Marrone about it several games in a row until he loses his temper and says something in an impatient and angry tone that he hadn't thought all the way through before he started talking. Chris Williams will get hurt and Urbik will end up playing on the left side.

DL: Kyle Williams will be his usual great self, and Jerry Hughes will have more sacks at the end of the year than Mario Williams. (This is a good thing for Mario...it means that he's finally taking his run contain responsibilities seriously.) Marcel Dareus will get benched at least once, but will probably get a couple sacks.

LB: Assuming that the coin flip comes up favorably on EJ, linebacker will be the position that everyone is wishing we had a first round pick for next year. The run defense will be pretty good and you'll get some corner play, but fans will get real sick of watching opposing half backs and tight ends chew up the middle of the field. Someone will come up with a good nickname for Brandon Spikes.

S: Anytime Jairus Byrd makes an interesting play the national commentators will mention Buffalo in derisive bewilderment, as if they had purposefully sent him packing with no effort to retain him at all. Someone will get hurt, and when Jonathon Meeks comes into the lineup John Murphy will say something about the Meeks inheriting the earth.

CB: Stephon Gilmore will struggle early and then completely shut down some great receiver. When asked about what changed in his game, Stephon will say that he just tries to prepare week in and week out or some sportsyak equivalent. Really, he'll just be ticked off and tired of getting burned. Leodis McKelvin will lead the team in interceptions, but will give up several critical long balls.

ST: Dan Carpenter will play statistically well but miss a crucial late field goal at the Ralph in December. The team will employ at least three different punters over the course of the year.

Overall outlook: 9-7, but out of the playoffs again.

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