Thursday, December 11, 2014

Religious Education

I held out my hand to James.

"James, who should pray for our supper tonight?"

Usually he either lifts one finger at me and says "you!" or points at Mommy with his left pointer finger. On very rare occasions he'll offer to pray himself, provided we help him through it."

"James, who should pray for our food tonight?"

"George."

He bowed his head, looked over at George (who was propped up in the fourth seat at the dinner table) out of the corner of his eye, and began in a small voice:

"Oo-oo, ah-ah, oo-ah, oo-ah. Ah-ha, ah-ha, oo-oo, ah...ooo! Ah, ah, oo-oo."

He lifted his head up, smiled and declared. "A-men!"

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Holiday Pops by the Numbers

33-The number of hours I spent in the car last week

1,841-The number of miles I drove last week

$1.00-The amount of money we gave to James so he could buy a Christmas present for Owen. He bought Owen a plastic fireman's hat which he then put on and wore though the checkout line. Asked to give it back to Mommy once in the car, he explained that "George is need it to make his fire engine go."

2.7-The number of miles I ran today with James in the jogging stroller, at the conclusion of which I offered him hot chocolate since it had been cold out. To which he responded, "Wait...I want hot COCOA."

8-The number of times I played Selections from Disney's "Frozen" this week

50-The number of text messages my carpool trombone friends exchanged in happy delight that they could call Tchaikovsky's "Nutcracker" the "Buttcracker."

2,488-Total number of Harry Potter pages read during bus rides, tacets, and between rehearsals

9-Total number of additional services I had to decline because my schedule was full

Monday, December 1, 2014

Lydia's Wedding

James has a new thing. I found out when I walked into his room to get him up a few days ago. He groaned, rubbed his eyes, looked up and said: "Daddy, I wanna holdja."

"What do you want?"
"I wanna holdja."

And he held out his arms.

"Oh, you want me to hold you?"

He nodded, and I picked him up. To my great surprise, he didn't immediately wriggle down. In fact, he put his head on my shoulder, held on to me, and snuggled.

I brought him into Julie.

"Sweetie, did you see that James wanted to give me a hug?"
"I wanna hold Mommy."
"Oh...okay."
"Mommy, I need t'holdja."

We've since figured out that he's cutting some molars. He's been a little fevery, and pretty irritable. And he needs to "holdja" pretty much all the time. That might getting ready for a wedding difficult.

J was excited to wear a dress and look nice for the first time since Owen born, and possibly even earlier, since it's hard to feel like you look nice in maternity clothes sometimes. I was excited to dance with J and to show off my cute sons to our friends. We were all as happy as could be for the bride and groom, and all of their family. On Saturday morning I took the first shower and got into my suit. I came back out to find a tie and gave my shirt over for J to fix a button.

"Daddy, I need t'holdja."
"Okay, let's sit on the bed together."

We read some books while J stitched my button and pulled out her dress. She took her shower and came back in.

"Wut-oh, Mommy! What is wrong wiv your HAIR?"
"There's nothing wrong with my hair sweetie, it's just wet because I washed it."
"You need to go dry it off, Mommy."

Then it was time to put James' clothes on. I remember attending some weddings as a child, and I always remembered the clothes being traumatic. Apparently this is universal. He screamed absolute bloody murder while I buttoned up his shirt, clipped his tie on, forced his arms into a jacket, pulled up his dress pants, and squeezed on dress shoes.

"DADDY, I NEED T'HOOOOLDJAAA!!!"
"I don' wanna wear mah black shoes, they are not my fravorite!!!"
"I don' wanna look like Daddy, I wanna wear my pjs!!!"

I brought him in to show J. She said that he'd outgrown everything. Try the backup outfit.

"James?"
"I wanna holdja."
"You aren't going to like this."

"I don' wanna wear a sweater!!!!"

I took off his suit, buttoned up a white shirt, put on a vest, put on his khakis, and put on brown shoes.

I brought him in to show J.
"Does it look like his pants are to big?"
"Mommy, I wanna holdja."
He took a step towards her and his pants fell down.
"James?"
"I wanna holdja"
"You aren't going to like this."

We did all eventually get out the door to the ceremony, although someone had to be holding James at all times. We only needed to make one emergency trip back before the ceremony started, and the service was beautiful. Neither of the boys misbehaved, and then we went home on purpose to nurse Owen. James was not thrilled about leaving again.

We had a lovely time at the reception, but it's hard to dance together when you're each holding a little boy. Next time a friend gets married I think we're just going to get a sitter and let James stay in his pajamas.

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

The Quotable Three Year Old

"All of my friends want to go to my farm. It is a dachsund farm."

J: "James, why is there a pile of blankets in the middle of your bed"
James: "It is not a pile of blankets. It is a sculpture."

James: "We need one basket for George."
J: "You may use one basket only, and you need to keep it on the rug. These are not toys."
James: "We need another basket too."
J: "Just one basket."
James: <crying> But we also need a basket for Woof-Woof."
J: "Just one basket."
James: "We will get another basket on Friday. Oh, okay George. Hear that Mommy? We will get another basket on Friday."
J: "Probably not."
James: "Probably."

"My cereal is squishable."

Me: <hiding helicopter remote in my pocket and making helicopter move> "I haven't seen it, James."
James: "You need to give me that remote."
Me: "Can I use it?"
James: "It is not yours."

James: <points at me, just in from a run> "You need to go take a shower."
Me: <panting> "Why?"
James: "Because you are dirty."
Me: "Do I stink?"
James: "You are stink." <looks at J> "Daddy stinks."

<watching marble run> "Now the scrubbing. This part is my fravorite."

Sunday, November 23, 2014

Bath Time

<after soaping up James' hair>
Me: James, we need to do the lying down part. We can do it now or we can do it later. Would you rather do it now?
James: Do it later
Me: Okay, we will do it in three minutes
James: No, not in three minutes. Maybe we will do it on Friday

Saturday, November 22, 2014

Wedding Gig (Or, 58 Emails)

10/16
I get an email from Stacy, one of the trumpet players I teach with on Mondays. He wants to know if I am interested in a wedding gig. It's in November, and will pay $100-150, all music from the Canadian Brass books. (Easy gig music collections) My first reaction is ambivalent. $150 is okay for a wedding, but $100 is definitely too low. I scroll over to my calendar and check the date against all the orchestra schedules. Doesn't look like I have anything going on. We are in the midst of saving aggressively to make our down payment, and I think about the first mortgage payment on our house, due Dec. 1. If it's Canadian Brass arrangements I won't need to practice beforehand. I email back and say that I'm available. After all, I'll only need to show up, play for a few minutes, and collect the check, right?

That night I tell J I took a wedding gig in November. I say it will probably pay $150. She does not look impressed.

10/18
Stacy emails back and says he'll leave the music in my box and let me know when he gets more details.

10/19
I pick up a neatly organized binder of music from my box. The first page is a printed out spreadsheet and flow with highlighter markings. I puzzle over whose book this could be. I didn't think Stacy was this punctilious. I make a mental note not to lose my music between now and the gig and toss it in the back of my trunk.

10/22
I get the standard "Gig Info" email with time, date, location dress from Stacy. We're going to get $150. Stacy mentions that the contractor for the gig is the Tuba Player. There is a dress rehearsal, but we don't need to attend, because the Tuba Player is going for us. I notice that the horn and trombone players (LB&BD) are two of my carpool buddies. It will be fun to hang with them, and I feel much better about having taken the gig. This will be fun.

10/31
I am driving back to the hospital (Owen was born the day before) on Rt. 15 and pull into a Bruegger's to get a coffee. I notice that I have a new email. It is a four paragraph document from Tuba Player. It's addressed to the whole brass quintet and the organist. He has consulted his teacher about the best key for the Pachelbel Canon and he lists several reasons for his preference to play it in B-flat. He wonders if the trumpets will need transposed parts. He also mentions some details from his conversations with the bride, and writes out a detailed flow for the hymns in the service, which he would like us to play on. He writes that he would like to schedule a rehearsal for next week and suggests several times.

I am determined to put a stop to this "rehearsal" nonsense immediately. I write back and tell him that B-Flat is fine, and he doesn't need to worry about transposing parts. I tell him that getting together for a rehearsal is fine, but it will cost an extra $100 a person...is the family willing to pay for this?

I send the email, then text my carpool friends checking to make sure that they are on board with avoiding a rehearsal.
Response "OMG thank you, I couldn't do any of the times he suggested anyway."
I feel temporarily proud of myself for being taking charge.

As soon as I send the email, another email pops into my inbox. It is also from Tuba Player. It's a copy of the excel document song list which was in our folders, just in case we needed another copy.

Five minutes later, another email pops in from Tuba Player. It contains audio recordings of all the wedding music, for our listening reference. You know, in case any of us were unfamiliar with the Pachelbel Canon. (The B-flat version, of course.)

A few minutes after that, Tuba Player writes back again. The fee that he agreed to with Stacy was $100 for the ceremony and $50 for the rehearsal. If that's a problem, please let him know. I hold the new baby and think about the first mortgage payment. I figure that there could be far worse ways to spend an hour some evening in November than hanging out with my carpool for an hour.

J is not impressed.

11/1
I have a service in Syracuse and ride in with my brass quintet. I ask BD if he knows Tuba Player, and he tells me that he is a retired teacher from somewhere who takes lessons very enthusiastically and that this is probably his first professional gig. He says he is a nice guy who "kind of thinks it's all about the tuba." We compare schedules and I write back requesting to just rehearse at 2:30 the day of the gig. (The ceremony is at 4)

11/2
The Organist (a friend who I gig with regularly) writes and asks us to check in with her about rehearsal times since the church isn't always open.

LB responds to my email and also wants to rehearse at 2:30 the day of the gig.

Stacy responds. He's also down for 2:30

BD responds. He's good for 2:30 too.

Tuba Player responds. He's also good for 2:30.

11/5
Organist writes and says that the church won't be open until 3. We are welcome to rehearse then. My initial reaction is "Great, we can get it all done if we meet at 3."

Tuba Player writes back a few hours later and says that we will start at 2:30. He also asks us each to write back and confirm (in bold type) that we will be there at 2:20 to start rehearsal. He wants us to play along on the special vocal numbers during the ceremony. The email includes three paragraphs of clarifications regarding the order of music and the verse-refrain patterns for the hymns.

Organist writes back. She won't be there till 3. She says that it really won't take more than 15 minutes to play all this music. If we want to meet at 2:30, we have to talk to the parish about getting the building unlocked.

Tuba Player writes back. He writes that he would be willing to pay someone extra to come and unlock the building 40 minutes early for us. He also requests that he come pick up music for the singer's numbers so that the brass can play along on that as well.

Vocalist (who has been copied in on the last few emails) writes back and says "just organ accompaniment, please and thanks."

Organist texts me privately asking me whether I know Tuba Player, why he's sending so many emails, and why he wants so many extra rehearsals. She sends five more texts venting about how she knows the rest of the group can sight read anything, so what is the point of all this?

11/6
Organist agrees to give Tuba Player a copy of the vocal music if he wants it and tells him when she plans to meet with the Vocalist to practice it.

Tuba Player responds and confirms that he will indeed go to the organ/voice rehearsal to watch.

Organist says okay.

Tuba Player sends a scan of the Vocal Music (which we are not playing) to everyone in the brass quintet.

11/8
Vocalist responds to Tuba Player's email, confused because she already has a copy of the music.

11/9
I email BD/LB separately and suggest that we meet at 7 AM the morning of the gig to see if we can get in on any of the wedding photos.

LB responds and suggests 6:45 AM would work better for her.

11/12
Tuba Player forwards an email from Vocalist. She enjoyed meeting him at their rehearsal. She has a request that none of the brass players wear perfumes or colognes, because her allergies could cause extreme difficulty singing.

Tuba Player sends an email to the quintet and marvels at the acoustical properties of the space. He assures us we will sound very good in there. However, he is having too much trouble getting into the space for a 2:30 rehearsal and has decided we need to rehearse sometime during the week before. He suggests a time Wednesday or Thursday evening.

Stacy responds and commits a major faux pas, indicating that he is actually available and willing to do an outside rehearsal.

I write back and say that I'm not available for either time (I'm not--I have orchestra rehearsals scheduled) and perhaps we can just meet offsite somewhere on the day of the wedding.

LB writes back and offers her house as a place to rehearse on the day of.

Vocalist writes back (apparently she's been copied in on these emails) and offers to come over to LB's house, although she doesn't actually need to rehearse anything with us.

BD responds. He is down for meeting at LB's place.

At this point LB is texting me with every new email that pops in to laugh at the absurdity of the situation, since we are playing 5 MINUTES OF SIGHT-READABLE BRASS QUINTET MUSIC WE'VE ALL PLAYED DOZENS OF TIMES. She, like me, is only sticking with this gig for entertainment value.

Another email pops in from Tuba Player. It is a message with the Google Drive logo asking you to CLICK HERE to access the documents he has shared. It looks like spam.

LB: "Did you get that email too? Do you think it's spam?"
Me: "I don't know. I'm going to open it. If you don't hear back from me in 5 minutes delete the email and bury your phone."

I open it. I'm brought to the Google home page and asked to sign in. I sign in. I'm brought to a South American web page with a bunch of car advertisements. I immediately sign out, delete the email, and change all my passwords.

11/12
Tuba Player sends a depressed sounding email. Because I having the most restrictive schedule, it doesn't look like we'll be able to rehearse until the day of the wedding. He has also given up on trying to get brass on the vocal number. He suggests we all meet at LB's at 1:30 (for a 4:00 wedding) and then try to get into the church at 2:30, or at least 3:00 and rehearse some more. He asks LB to write back with her address and parking suggestions.

11/17
Tuba Player has not heard back from any of us. He writes "the offsite rehearsal as I suggested at 1:30 does not make sense." He will plan to arrive at the church at 2:15 and rehearse with us then. He also plans to attend the wedding rehearsal so he can talk to the bride and clarify any concerns she might have. He has, as an attachment to the email, sent us a copy of their Save the Date. They look very nice.

LB responds asking many important and entirely serious questions, like whether we need to print out the music ourselves? Will there be music stands? Which street should we park on? She notes that the bride and groom look like a lovely couple.

Stacy responds that he is "uber good" with 2:15

Tuba Player responds that he will have extra copies of the music printed out, there will be music stands there, we should park in the church lot, and we should wear black ties.

LB texts to make sure that I know to wear a black tie.

11/18
Vocalist wanders (accidentally?) into the emails again. She will also be present at the wedding rehearsal on Friday.

Vocalist emails again. She is confused about how many verses on the nuptial blessing.

Organist: Refrain-Verse-Refrain

BD responds. He is good for 2:15

Vocalist says thank you, that's what she thought.

Tuba Player confirms the building will be opened at 2:15. "See you brassers then."

LB texts"I didn't get this many emails for my own wedding!"


11/19
No emails from Tuba Player, but he attends LB's horn choir concert. They have a chat about the wedding gig. He is very excited

11/21
Tuba Player emails the last minute clarifications. Dress is tuxedos for the men, black gowns (?) for the women. Everyone be there at 2:15. Everyone bring a music stand. Tempos will all be just like the recordings. Who will down dowbeats and cutoffs? He has attached the revised songlist as an excel document again. There is a list of updated repertoire. In the recessional the second trumpet solo will now be a TUBA SOLO. (In all caps, bold type.)

I respond whoever is playing first trumpet will give cutoffs.

LB responds ditto on the cutoffs, that she doesn't have a black gown, but will wear all black.

Stacy agrees about the cutoffs.

The Vocalist writes (again) that the nuptial blessing is refrain, verse, refrain. I guess someone was still in the dark about that.

Tuba Player tells Vocalist that he will be at the wedding rehearsal tonight. He tells LB that any colored gown will be fine. (All women want to wear gowns all the time, you know.)

Stacy responds with a music theory question. He is poking the bear.

Tuba Player is still confused about the verses and refrains on the nuptial blessing.

Vocalist emails everyone to tell LB that she'll wear a black suit too. (My phone is just incessantly buzzing with new emails at this point.)

LB is also wearing a black suit.

Tuba Player has spoken with the Vocalist. Just to confirm, only trumpets on the nuptial blessing. On the refrain.

Stacy says that is "dandy."

11/22 THE BIG DAY
So the gig actually turned out to be a lot of fun. I wore my most outrageous cummerbund with my tux, brought a thermos full of hot toddy to pass around the carpool, and generally tried to keep a straight face as Tuba Player said things like "boy, I can't imagine how you guys put together stuff like this before email."

He was the sweetest guy you could imagine once I met him in person. He said multiple times how honored he was to be playing with us (he called it a "bucket list" item) and compared it to sitting in with the orchestra side by side he played on last year. (Several of us were on that too.) He was super nervous about anything he had to start or play on his own, including the big TUBA SOLO in the recessional, and looked genuinely disappointed that we didn't get to play the entire Pachelbel Canon or go through all of our postlude music before the guests had left.

The actual wedding was fine. It was really small, but the bride and groom looked happy. The actual playing went fine. We started and stopped together, and no one got lost in between, to my knowledge. Before the gig was over, Tuba Player paid us all in cash, giving everybody a $100 and a $50. I thought about how the gig was either going to be a $100 or a $150 gig, and I figured out the math. I'm pretty sure that he didn't pay himself for this gig, and that if he paid someone to come unlock the church early for our rehearsal that he probably took a loss. I felt a little bad about being mildly snarky in the emails (and more than a little bit snarky behind his back in all the texts that flew back and forth after each email arrived) but I think that he had the time of his life. His wife was there, and she took pictures of the group in front of the altar, actions shots, and phone pictures too.

Your special day only happens once, and you have to make sure that you document it properly.












Thursday, November 20, 2014

Snow Week

Everyone knows by now that the weather in Buffalo this week has been otherworldly. I've seen the terms "amazing," "insane," and "Hoth" tossed about by everyone in the middle of the storm. Among the many events lost over the course of the week was a performance of Rite of Spring by the BPO that I was supposed to be playing. I am a little bummed, of course. I love Rite of Spring, and the paycheck would have been great. But I'm also really relieved that I didn't have to attempt driving in that mess, or (more likely) backing out of the gig.

My Dad was the first to warn me about the storm. They stopped by on Sunday and he mentioned that a bad storm was coming. I need to start paying more attention to these things, now that I'm a homeowner. It's going to be up to me to batten down the hatches on our property. Right now, I don't even know where the hatches are. It's also up to me to shovel our driveway, keep an eye on the water level around the foundation, and all those other lovely tasks.

So, I kept an eye on the weather. And Tuesday morning, the day of the first rehearsal, I woke up assuming I might have to allow for a little extra drive time in the snow. The first thing I saw when I opened Facebook was a bunch of people posting that the Thruway was closed.

"The Thruway is closed? Isn't that a bit of an overreaction?"

Turns out, no. I dug through old emails for the emergency personnel line to the orchestra, and called in. There was no message. I texted one of the other trumpet players asking whether rehearsal was still on. No answer. I looked up alternate routes up by the lake, and put on my winter coat. I was just getting ready to leave when I finally got ahold of the personnel manager.

"Yeah, I can't see out my window," she said "There isn't going to be any rehearsal today."

It turned out to be a good day to stay home. J had a doctor's appointment for James and Owen, and neither boy was particularly happy about being measured, prodded, weighed, or (oh, the trauma) given a shot.

The next day I started calling into the personnel line at 6 in the morning. There had been reports that there might be a break in the snow early in the afternoon, but that another huge storm was coming on Thursday and that the Thruway was still closed for the forseeable future. About 7:00 I saw that the alternate rehearsal site (at a college) had been shut down because the campus was closed, and I figured I was in the clear. Around 8:00 the official word came through that rehearsal was off, and at 10 AM they cancelled the whole week's worth of services.

So I've had an unexpected week off! I took the kids to Home Depot, cleaned the downstairs, played with James outside (he got a snow shovel at Home Depot--"Daddy, I need to shovel. Is it time to shovel yet?") helped J with lunch, took a nap, listened to a mock audition, worked through a box of wine, and wore a bunch of sweaters.

If you're one of those poor people digging out of this mess, stay warm! But I've enjoyed a chance to actually live in my own house for a bit...