Gilderoy Lockhart

If you're going to have a business meeting at a Wegmans in Syracuse, NY in the middle of a Thursday afternoon, the table of musicians next to you might make some assumptions about your grandiose claims. For example, we don't really believe that you are personally responsible for investing "billions" in your product, whatever it is. For as long as you talked--and you talked for a REALLY long time--you never actually mentioned what it was that you were hoping to sell. (Although kudos for talking a lot about your "audience" though, and for your sophisticated understanding of the difference between Twitter and Facebook.) Yes, we don't really think that you are in charge of billions of anything. We think you probably have a nice car and a nice job and work hard, but he fact that you're here in the Fairmont Wegmans eating from the food court means that you aren't really a big Wall Street player. Although, seriously, it is very impressive that your football team was the best in the state. It sounds like you had a big hand in that, and that you've enjoyed the glory of that mountaintop experience for many years since. One more thing--if you say nasty things about Rochester, people from Rochester might make fun of your big shiny bald spot on their blogs. Good luck selling billions of whatever it is that you're selling.