Teeth and Pencils

I've decided to start flossing more. I even put a reminder in my phone for 10 PM, in case I happen to forget when I'm brushing my teeth for bed. I'm realizing that I only have one set of teeth, and as someone who will be turning thirty very shortly I perhaps ought to do a slightly better job taking care of them. I even thought about buying some antiseptic mouthwash the other day when I was checking out at Wegmans. I looked at it and thought, "Who do I know that uses mouthwash? I don't think anyone in my family keeps it in their bathrooms, and I'm pretty sure J's family doesn't use it either...hmm. What are the benefits?" And then I felt old, and decided that I should definitely start flossing more regularly.

I was scolded pretty severely the last time I went in for a dental cleaning. (And they wonder why I don't come in more often.) The hygienist (who spoke in a discomfortingly thick Russian accent) also made snide remarks about how badly I needed orthodontic work, and I pleaded "professional trumpet player" to quiet her. She made me promise to floss more regularly, and I made a concerted effort for about a month, two houses ago. Then I was back on the maybe-once-a-month schedule for two years, until last Saturday. As of Saturday, I've been flossing every day, except for last night, because I was already really comfortable in bed and it was kind of cold out when the alarm went off in my phone and reminded me.

I scheduled James' first ever trip to the dentist for next week, and he sounded genuinely excited when I told him where he was going. (This will be the only time we ever get that reaction.) On the upside, though, he might get a cool prize. I remember getting a certain type of mechanical pencil that I'm not even quite sure how to describe out of the dentist's prize box. It came pre-loaded with individual leaded tops that you screwed in from the top (or bottom) end of the pencil, which you used to write. Then you would use the pencil until the lead ran out, unscrew the used-up tip, and screw a new one in.

Mechanical pencils were a great source of moral trial to me as a young child. I never was tempted to steal anything so badly as a nice-looking mechanical pencil. They were infinitely more satisfying to write with than the standard yellow number two pencils that required constant resharpening and tended to smudge all over the papers. I don't know if anyone else thought of them this way, but I regarded them as a status symbol of wealth and advantage as well. I treasured a mechanical pencil whenever I managed to acquire one, and if I thought I had an opportunity to pick one up off a desk or in the hallway that wouldn't be missed it was always an enormous struggle of will to leave it where it lay and be content with the smudgy yellow pencil in my pocket.

Nowadays I am morally. When my trumpet students come and forget their mechanical pencils on my stand, I don't even think about tossing them in my case and requisitioning them for myself. The same goes for pencils found at rehearsal, at church, and at school. I've ceased to respect them as private property and will stop at nothing to acquire them for my own gain. Part of this is J's fault.

I love my wife and hold her in enormous personal respect. In addition to being smart and beautiful, I think she's one of the most fair-minded and wise people I know. But she is a dirty thief when it comes to my mechanical pencils. If I leave a pencil out on my desk and she needs one for teaching or making a list, she doesn't even think about taking it. And then it disappears into her flute bag or purse, and it's never seen again. I've tried to hide my pencils behind books or in the secret crevasses of my desk, but she either finds them there or I hide them so well that I no longer know where they are either. If we're at Target and I try to toss a new package of mechanical pencils in the cart she'll look at me and say, "Didn't you just buy a bunch of those?" And the answer is that I did, but that someone who I dearly love has stolen them all and I only have one left.

I've confronted her about this in the past, including this morning. Her answers vary, and this morning it was "don't you usually write with a pen anyway?" This is true, and it's another luxury of adult life, that I can buy myself gel pens. But I use pencils to write in my books, and especially to mark up my music. I just ordered a big new pack of mechanical pencils from Amazon, and already several of them are gone. J took two this morning, and James was eagerly expressing how much he'd like to draw with them. I need to find some way to protect them before they've all disappeared. I've even attempted to develop a conscious habit of walking around with the pencils in my mouth, holding them between my well-flossed teeth, as a deterrent for those who would attempt to steal them from me.

But it doesn't work. Even my youngest is stealing my pencils. I don't begrudge them to him, though. He also is having teeth problems, in the form of a little white nub that's keeping him awake and sitting up with me instead of taking his nap.