Manners

I've had manners on my mind for the past several days

A friend who I wouldn't have expected to care about or notice such things made a comment in my company about how much it bothered him when people used their smartphones in the middle of a conversation, particularly if the conversation wasn't particularly deep or interesting. I'm glad he said something, as I'm quite sure that I'd done exactly that in his presence before. It doesn't bother me in the slightest if someone uses their phone while we're talking, but I don't grudge his opinion, especially since he's slightly older.

Secondly, I've been listening to Edith Wiggin's Manners for Home and School Use read aloud on a podcast. Last week I finished several podcasts all at once and am now in the middle of some new ones, including Rousseau's Social Contract, the Arabian Nights, a collection of Wodehouse stories, and this new one. At first I only downloaded some episodes for a laugh (the book is very old) but have been surprised to find that most of the advice is quite wise and timeless. The more I think about it, the more I realize that an enormous amount of the habitual manners I take for granted will take some concentrated effort to show to James, and that there's quite a bit to learn.

He's picking up bits and pieces, but he still needs to be reminded more often than not to ask with a please and say thank-you afterwards. He knows to say "sorry," but most often uses the word in the place of "excuse me." For example, I'll be standing in the kitchen, and then I'll feel someone trying to push through my legs with a little voice saying "sorry, Daddy" and then I see him run off to wherever it was he was going. We also are working on getting him to say "excuse me" after he passes gas, but he usually just giggles and when asked what he ought to say dons a momentary expression of careful thought before declaring "I butzed."

Owen, thankfully, is still too young to be concerned about teaching or using manners. If he were old enough to be instructed, I should tell him that it is excellent manners to bestow a happy grin on every stranger that you meet and to attempt to engage them in friendly conversation, but that it is not very nice manners to wake up at 6 in the morning and shout until someone comes to get you.