Brass or Woodwind?

Every week I ride in a carpool of orchestra musicians from Rochester to Syracuse. Usually the carpool is comprised of brass players, but sometimes there are woodwind players that ride along. Listed below are verbatim quotes from the trip. Test your instrument personality recognition skills to see if you can tell whether a woodwind player or a brass player is responsible for the quote.


"Oh, you eat before you play? I could never blow that into my instrument!"

"Is Ben David asleep? Let's see if we can put this cowboy hat on his head without him waking up..."

"I'm a little worried about the temperature of my instrument, so I think I'll keep it here in the car with me."

"So I bumped into Lisa at a concert the other day, and she mentioned how she had your leiderhosen in her trunk, and I thought, 'gee, I should probably pick those up for you.'"

"You know, when I finished my theory degree, such-and-such a professor gave me a hug as I walked across the stage and it just made me cry."

"I would volunteer to pat you on the hiney, but I don't think your wife would be thrilled about that."

"I'll go as fast as I can, but it takes me a little longer to pack up my instrument than it does for you.

"Laserhosen, I mean leiderhosen. Wait, laser-hosen would be even better. Pew-pew, pew-pew!"

"Would you guys like to come over to my house between rehearsals and watch a foreign film?"

"Nah, we'll just ignore everything she does on the podium and play loud in the concert."

"I try not to eat too many of those cookies they put out at the break. I'm on a diet."

"Is Ben David still asleep? Let's see if we can put this baseball cap on top of the cowboy hat!"'

"I had a really bad reed for that whole first half."

"My beard feels funny today."

"I don't do much during Jurassic Park. I just play whole notes."

"I think the dress is concert black. Semi-formal concert black, casual top. Except the bass trombone is concert plaid."