Things I'll Forget

Felix had a haircut this week, because he couldn't see past his bangs. I won't remember about it at all unless I write it down, as is evidenced by my look past through blogs from two or three years ago. All the little details of the kids changing and growing up get swallowed up in an exhausted haze of daily commutes, laundry-folding, dish-washing, practicing in the basement, and trying to tick through long to-do lists.

As is apparently my tradition this time of year, I want to do a better job blogging. Not just because it's good for me to write, or because it stokes my vanity to know that people are reading and enjoying my writing, but because I am in very real danger of completely forgetting huge stretches of the kids' growing up if I don't make some kind of record of it.

For example, Owen broke James' glasses twice. (Both times on purpose) Last week we ran them back up to the eye place (which we love) and they straightened some bent plastic. Last night he snapped the other side clean off, so they are currently taped together. We need to get it done before the 31st, or else the new insurance won't cover it.

Felix is doing what James used to do when it was time for a bottle. ("Ba-ba," in his own words.) He camps out by the oven (where we set a five minute timer) swaying and sucking his fingers and making counting motions, and then when the timer sound goes off he FREAKS OUT. He jumps up and down in your arms or dances around, and then points wildly at the bottle with jabbing motions, just in case there is any chance that you'll forget about it.

Owen has turned everything into gymnastics. Jumping down from the minivan into a parking lot or garage? And opportunity to practice straddle jumps. Looking at someone's putt-putt golf set? It's a balance beam and a chance to practice a handstand. On the couch? Get upside down and get his feet up. The child has to move harder and faster every day than our space and pace allow, so we've even taken to letting him run on the treadmill. (And amazingly, once he's done so, he's much less likely to hurdle his baby brother or break James' glasses.)

This was the year of the strangely decorated tree. Our tree never looks picturesque--we make no effort at coordinating our ornaments, and even the tree shape itself is sometimes odd. (I always let the boys pick it out from the Agway at the bottom of bay on Empire Blvd.) Then, of course, James and Owen tend to cluster their ornaments together in places that they can reach conveniently as we decorate. This year, though, Felix was mobile. And that meant that each ornament that was within his reaching distance eventually made its way onto the floor or into his mouth, and then was retrieved and migrated to a much higher and safer spot somewhere near the top of the tree. By the second week of December the bottom two feet of the tree were bare and the top branches were completely packed with ornaments doubled and tripled up per space.

Owen is having toilet accidents regularly...because if he's doing anything even remotely interesting he waits until he is in a state of absolute can't-hold-it-any-longer crisis until he finally gets up to run to the bathroom. Unless it is naptime. When he's bored and stuck in his room, he needs to go to the bathroom about once every fifteen minutes. (Slamming the door to his room and the bathroom each time.)

James doesn't want me to look at him or smile at him or listen to him while he's singing in junior choir. And he doesn't want to see his junior choir director (who he admits he likes) in any context except for immediately after church while I am not there. I remember very strongly (and J says she does as well) being a kid and feeling like there were some things that I enjoyed doing and I knew my parents wanted me to do, but that I DID NOT want them to know I actually liked. I have no idea why he feels that way, but junior choir is apparently forbidden for any involvement from us.

Final shameless self-interested bit--if you've read this far you were probably at Smithmas at the Lake House and are directly related to me. We apparently came back without my favorite sweater. (Gray and black, J Crew, size S) If anyone happens to know where it is, I would love to have it back.

Last of all, the thing that I can't wait to forget--the stuffed animal dogs that all three boys found in their stocking that sing "We Wish You a Merry Christmas."

Music Sunday

J: “How’d the big Music Sunday service go at your church?”
R: “Very well. The choir sang great, the Vivaldi went fine, all the music was well-received.”
J: “Good! I’m glad it went well!”
R: “Someone did run out into the middle of the sanctuary during the call to worship, though, and pulled their pants off.”
J: “Are you serious? That actually happened?!”
R: “Yup.”
J: “Was it an older person?”
R: “It wasn’t an adult.”
J: <moment of dawning comprehension> “Oh, OWEN!!!”

From Harwick Road to Chestnut Street

Dear Silas,

Hi. I think you are Lightning McQueen. What is your favorite movie? We are watching Cars 3, but we are not yet done. I had a bath last night, and not all the soap got out of my hair. My hair is thick right now. I hope you are having a very good time at your house. How is Aunt Martha doing? Are you having fun over the last few days? I love you. Owen likes you too. Love, James

Dear Roland,

Owen and me like you. So does Felix. What do you want to be when you grow up? You are Percy. Just so you know, you are a dump truck. How many times have you watched Cars? I am guessing a lot of times. What are you going to watch next? I hope you are so having a good time. Love, James

Dear Aunt Martha,

How are Silas and Roland doing? Tell them they are both cows. Owen and me would love to visit you. You are the best drawer in the world. Just so you know, we got a new palm tree because our old one is dead. We also have another tree back in the other room that is not far away. Owen had a great birthday party. He got two lego sets and a bike! Tell Silas and Roland! Love, James

Dear Silas,

What is your favorite Magic Tree House book? Mine favorite is Jack and Annie and That Volcano. Vacation Under the Volcano is mine favorite. I got a LEGO set for mine birthday. And I have a good cake that was really tall. I didn't like Halloween because I had to get in bed. I opened the door. I didn't like going to bed that early. Love, Owen

Dear Roland,

What is your favorite Magic Tree House? Mine favorite is Vacation Under the Volcano. Love, Owen

Recently Reading

Behave (Robert Sapolsky)-An academic book by a primatologist/neuroendocrinologist about the causes and explanations of human aggression. Thoroughly researched, cleverly explained, and tying into lots of other social research (Haidt, Pinker) that I've recently read and enjoyed.

Orchard and Vineyard (Victoria Sackville-West) Downloaded via Gutenberg because of a note I'd made years ago about C.S. Lewis enjoying the poetry. Apparently she was Virginia Woolf's first lover? Lush language, lots of damp leaves and fragrant soil.

Notes From a Small Island (Bill Bryson) A very funny travel journal of an American preparing to leave Britain after living there for twenty years. Lots of great anecdotes about British quirks, slang, and culture. Occasionally crass, but would probably be very entertaining for people (Mom and Martha) who have been there.

A Column of Fire (Ken Follett) Last book in the Kingsbridge series, and not as strong as the other two. A bit soapy, and somehow turning into a spy novel (with the Gunpowder Plot) at the end?

Breakfast of Champions (Kurt Vonnegut) Caustic and funny, and probably even better if you'd recently read and liked Slaughterhouse-Five. (One of the central characters is Kilgore Trout)

World Without End (Ken Follett) Second book in the Kingsbridge Series, centered around a nun during the Black Plague and an innovative architect. Long, but a good yarn with a couple of good villains.

Player Piano (Kurt Vonnegut) His first book, a satirical complaint against an automatized dystopia. Meh. Not as funny as Cat's Cradle, and the whole secondary plot was bizarre.

Love in the Time of Cholera (Gabriel Garcia Marquez) A lush (overrich?) love story or tongue in cheek parody of a love story that takes place over decades and spins out masterfully slowly.

Their Eyes Were Watching God (Zora Neale Hurston) The marriages and travails of an African American woman in the early 20th century, ending with a catastrophic hurricane. (I read this during a week I was playing Porgy and Bess somewhere or another, and the parallels are striking.)

Blood in the Water (Heather Ann Thompson) A disturbing (Pulitzer Prize winning) account of the Attica Prison Riot and its ridiculously long aftermath. A subject that I apparently knew nothing about, despite it taking place in our backyard.

Hidden Figures (Margot Lee Shetterly) The story of black female mathematicians in the early days of NASA which became a movie that lots of people have recommended but I've never gotten around to watching.

The Martian (Andy Weir) Originally published serially on the internet (?), I did watch the movie version of this book, and loved it. Book is even better.

Cat's Cradle (Kurt Vonnegut) The book with Bokonism, Felix Hoenikker (what a great name), and ice-nine. Immediately after finishing this book I ordered some of James' school books on Amazon, and one of the sellers was a bookshop named Cat's Cradle that stamped their package with a Cat's Cradle design and a quote from the book. So it goes.

The Good Earth (Pearl S. Buck) The ascent out of poverty and life of a Chinese man in the 19th century. There are several sequels, not sure if/when I'll get to them.

The Seven Storey Mountain (Thomas Merton) Merton's autobiography up to the time he entered the monastery. Moving, poetic, worth the re-read.

The Billion Dollar Spy- The story of Adolf Tolkachev, a soviet scientist who passed information to the CIA for years in the late 70s/early 80s and was eventually discovered and killed for his work.

The Man in the High Castle- (Philip K. Dick) Trippy alternate history tale where the Nazis and Japanese won WWII and everyone on the West Coast consults a horoscope book to make decisions.

Jurassic Park (Michael Crichton) God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs. Dinosaurs eat man. Woman inherits the earth.

From Harwick Road to Chestnut Street

Dear Silas,
Volcanoes only explode, and Pompeii was a good town. It had a volcano, and it exploded on the town! And now it is dead. You are very kind, and Pompeii was buried before it was even volcanoed.
<James: Owen, let me tell you something. Mt. Vesuvius erupted on August 24th, AD 79.>
That was a good Pompeii story.
Gymnastics is very fun. I like presents on mine birthday. I'm a good sport guy by doing both of them.
I love you, Silas. Owen

Dear Roland,
Mine favorite Jack and Annie book was Volcano in Pompeii. Sometimes we don't go in carwashes. I'm sorry I'm faster than you. Football is fun. We watched the Buffalo Bills play the Colts, and the Colts were winning. I love you, Roland. Owen

Dear Aunt Martha,
You are a kind guy. We like you. We like the Titanic, and it was a BIG ship.
<James: It sank in the year 1912.>
Yeah, on August 49th.
<James: No, it sank on April 15th. It hit the iceberg on April 14th at 11:40>
The Titanic sunk hitting a iceberg. The Bismarck sunk by a lot of other ships and torpee-toes.
<James: It sank by airplanes that dropped the torpedoes.>
I love you, Aunt Martha. Owen

Dear Silas,
Volcanoes do nothing but erupt and sleep. Just so you know, you are a sponge. Well, I hope you are excited for Halloween, because Owen calls a dragon that we walk to see "The Scary Dragon" and two things that Owen calls "Stacked Pumpkins" and the "Scary Cat" in the neighbor's yard that he likes to see too. School is something that I don't really like.
Sincerely James O. D. O. Smith
P.S. I do not want to be a football player when I grow up.

Dear Roland,
Ahem. And now you do something that you love. What is it? Why don't you read Exploring the Titanic by Dr. Robert Ballard.
Sincerely, James O. P. E. Smith
P.S. You are a house.

Dear Aunt Martha,
Please come to my birthday. And Silas and Roland too. Tell them they are crocodiles, please. Please do something good. And I hope you like the guests at my birthday. Did you like the guests and Felix's birthday.
Sincerely, James O. P. O. D. O. Smith
PS When is the next time you are going out to Albion?

Questions from James

Did the bow section of the Titanic or the stern section of the Titanic sink faster?

When the bow of the Titanic sank, did it sink like this (horizontal arm) or like this (vertical arm) or like this (diagonal arm)?

Did the guns on the Bismarck fall off before it hit the bottom of the ocean?

How many of the Titanic's funnels broke off before it was underwater?

Did the Californian sink?

How many funnels did the Californian have?

Was the Lusitania a White Star Line ship?

Was the fourth funnel on the Lusitania a dummy as well?

Which ship sink faster, the Californian or the Carpathia?

Which ship did Dr. Ballard find first, the Bismarck or the Titanic?

What was the first ship that Dr. Ballard ever found?

Why didn't the hull of the Bismarck break apart like the Titanic did?

Did the USS Indianapolis roll over on its side?

How many ships did the USS Little Rock sink?

How many stories tall was the Bismarck? (vertically)

How many people survived the sinking of the Californian?

Why did the Lusitania sink so fast?

How many people were in the crow's nest of the Lusitania?

Do battleships have crow's nests?

What was the date when the Titanic's hull was launched?

Did anyone ever scuttle a White Star Line ship when it was sinking?

Did the Cunard Line or the White Star Line ship have more shipwrecks?

How much longer was the Knock Nevis than the Titanic?

Does an oil tanker need more lookouts than a passenger ship?

September Updates

James is back into the swing of things with homeschool, which we're sort-of unofficially calling 2nd grade. I've thought about writing an extensive blog about his homeschool program for this year, but he's getting to an age where he might very soon be reading the sorts of things I write about him, and I'm a little conflicted about publicizing exactly how he "measures up" according to the universal standard 2nd grader. On the one hand, he's doing great work with reading--and he doesn't even realize it's great work. He just loves reading, and he's really good at it. And on the other hand, he has abysmal penmanship and spelling. As far as I can tell he's doing fine with everything else--math, science, history, and whatnot. He knows (I think) his last name and his address, which is also an improvement from a few years ago, though he probably wouldn't have the faintest idea what to do in a fire drill.

Owen is doing a much better job in James' school this year. Despite school taking almost an hour longer each day (we're really buckling down on those handwriting exercises) almost-four-year-old Owen is a lot easier to deal with than almost-three-year-old Owen. He's more than happy to play LEGOs alone in his room for at least some chunk of the morning, and when he comes downstairs to listen to James' read-aloud book or to do his history and science projects alongside him he's actually a constructive participating instead of a force of destruction.

Felix is the force of destruction. Felix is curious about everything, but mostly about the sorts of things that we put in trash cans. If it's in a garbage can, Felix wants to pull it out and examine, and then to move it somewhere else. And Felix likes to give non-garbage can items (like important documents, dishtowels, and his brother's toys) a chance to experience the garbage for themselves. He also pulls napkins out of the pantry by the handful and sweeps armloads of books off of the shelves. He is, frankly, an armful.

Some nuggets from the past few days:

Owen: Don't tell me anything, because I already know everything. I know about the Titanic, and the Bismarck, and dinosaurs, and Mount Vesuvius.

Owen: Jesus told me I don't need to clean my room.

Me: I think maybe the Bills are playing the Chiefs next week.
James: Are the Chiefs a good team?
Me: I don't know. I think they were pretty good last year, but maybe they didn't make the playoffs?
James: Oh, yes they did. They did make the playoffs, and they played the Titans.
Me: Oh, okay. If you say so.
James: It seems to me that kids are actually smarter than grown-ups.