Clearing the List

 I have a list on my phone notes of potential blog topics. Today I empty that list. 

There are occasional short-term guests (something funny that the kids said or did) that will get written up right away, but today we are dealing will all of the multi-year tenants. These are ideas that I've thought "I should write about this" for years. But then I never do, because it would either involve a lot more research, or it's way too controversial, or I'm not sure what to think about it. 

I'm spring cleaning my phone (goodbye, duplicate pictures of old rehearsal schedules) and this is what's finally going to make it happen.

PRIMING

Priming is the psychological phenomenon (I think I first read about it in Kahneman's Thinking Fast and Slow) whereby one stimulus influences (usually unconsciously) the response to another stimulus. (A classic example is the greater support for propositions to support school funding increases when the polling station is physically located within a school.) Priming is exactly the sort of unconscious and semi-rational thought that steers us without our being aware of it. J and I had a conversation where we reverse engineered an entire morning's worth of conversation and action with the question "in what contexts was this thought/action primed?" And it turns out that everything is primed by something. The effect might be extraordinarily miniscule, but it's there. Then we did the same experiment with a typical worship service flow...

EVERYTHING IS THE FEAR OF DEATH

Drugs are a way of escaping your fear of death. Sex is the ultimate biological insurance against death. Feeling busy (and thereby important) is a compensation for your anxiety about death. The habitual avoidance of restful sleep is a fear of death. My struggle against meaninglessness is a fear of death. Just like everything can be partially explained by priming, so can nearly every human action (especially destructive and irrational ones) be explained by the fear of dying. I think that one of the healthiest things a person can do is to look himself/herself in the mirror and acknowledge, "I am going to die. I am mortal. I am aging, growing weaker, and the time in my hourglass is running out. I don't know what will happen when I die, and I will not know. I do not know when I will die, and I cannot control it." This is why the Ash Wednesday service is (in my opinion), one of the most beautiful moments of the Christian year. We grasp that nettle in hand and are told "From dust you came, and to dust you shall return." It's like taking a swim in cold water. It's horrible, but it reminds you what being alive for this moment really is.

THE BOOK OF JOB

The Hebrew word that we usually translate "God/god" is actually plural...elohim. (Masculine plural hebrew words form the plural with an -im ending, feminine words with a -oth ending.) There are a few obvious sentences in the Psalms where you clearly have to translate the "elohim" as gods, because of the the syntax of the rest of the sentence. Most of the rest of the old testament uses a plural noun but a singular verb. 

There are 58 instances of the singular form of God/god, which is eloah. 42 of these are in the book of Job. 

Why? (Like most questions raised about the book of Job, lack even the beginning of a useful answer.)

ADULTHOOD

The biggest difference between adulthood and young adulthood is that nothing ever happens. Or, rather, almost everything (good or bad) happens in tiny/incremental ways. Sure, every once in awhile there is a 9/11 or a global pandemic. But most of the things that matter most to you are like how you gradually put on 10 lbs over the winter. (Or you work out every day for six months and gradually lose 10 lbs.) Or get slightly better at wrapping gifts. You don't learn six new sonatas every semester like you did when you were in college. You work on one sonata over two years, and you gradually can play it at level 88 instead of level 85. (Or you don't really practice much for two years and then you find out that you can no longer play the sonata at level 85.)

You make sourdough bread over and over again, and each loaf gets 1 percent better.

It's neither a good thing nor a bad thing that life is like this. But it is definitely what your life is now. It's mostly the same thing every day, and as you look back over the sweep of time you see the tiny changes, but you hardly ever notice it in the moment.

TE KALOU KAI KAKOU

Sometimes an idea is conspicuous by its absence. One idea that is conspicuously absent in scripture is the binary division of people/things/ideas into straightforward good and evil. This idea (which is central to the neoplatonism that so profoundly challenged and influenced the church of the 3rd/4th/5th centuries) still has powerful assumed resonances in many pockets of modern Christianity. But where in the Bible can you find any of the authors splitting people into "good people" and "bad people." Or good ideas and bad ideas? There's the parable of the sheep and the goats, but that becomes more complex with cultural and scriptural context. The closest thing you get in philosophical terms (thinking about the theory of forms and ontological goodness/badness) is a one-liner in Hebrews 5. 

GIVING YOUR CHILD A SWORD

I recently re-read the foundational text for our classical education efforts. For one thing, I'd read a strong critique of liberal arts education in general and was working through my own response to that book. For another, we needed some updated recommendations for curricula, since the edition of the book (Well-Trained Mind) that we own is almost thirty years old now.

Here's what I think about teaching a child Latin. It's like training them how to use a sword. Yes, it's a dead language. No, you would never use a sword in actual combat anymore. It's a ceremonial tool, one that's meant to evoke the past and does so with a certain panache. 

But there's more to learning swordsmanship than mere utility. A soldier who has been trained with a sword and is then handed a modern weapon is a more complete soldier than a solider who is handed a modern weapon straight off. Because the use of the sword requires greater sacrifice and discipline. Ultimately the sword is only as useful as the skill of the one who wields it. It is an extension of the soldier's own strength, grace, and courage, not a substitute for them.

A classical education (and learning Latin) is like training a soldier with the sword. The point isn't to train them to speak Latin. The point is to train them learn how to do any task (whether it's engineering, playing the piano, teaching science, or driving a cab) with the diligence, precision, and humility of a classical scholar.

They are learning swordsmanship.

Quotes from the Boys

 Owen, upon being read a story by a babysitter: "Tell you what...why don't you stop reading it, and let me read it. Because I will read it with better expression." 

(The babysitter later confirmed that Owen was correct.)

Felix, upon being told that it was time to leave Nama and Papa's house. "I don't want to go! I will not be a nice guy! I will make bad choices! I will poop in my pants MANY TIMES!"

Owen, coming downstairs well past his bedtime: "Is one of you named Roy Smith? I think you should know that a certain Felix Smith is out of his bed and playing in the sink."

James, upon being told that we were going to swap out his Wheelock for an easier Latin curriculum: "Oh."

When asked if he was sad about this decision: "No."

More to come soon...by the miracles of digital recording I was able to play in Easter morning services at 5 different churches yesterday. That was great, but we are all recovering today...

Buffalo Vacation Highlights

 We desperately needed to get out of our house.

Here's how a typical day of school was going:

James: "Dad, I don't understand what I'm supposed to be doing for this page."

Me: "James, we've been going over long division for two months. What don't you understand about it?"

Felix: "RRReewww...RRRAaAA...SMASH! The Hudson Hornet smashes into anudder car!"

James: "Felix don't drive your cars on me."

Owen: "I hate school and you can't make me do it."

Felix: RRewwww....SCCREEE!!! The Hudson Hornet smashes into Owen!"

Me: "Owen, don't hit Felix."

Potty training was a constant exercise in frustration. Felix wasn't sleeping. It was just time for a change of scenery. We booked a suite at the Embassy in downtown Buffalo, figuring that getting out of Rochester would force us to change our pace and have some quality family time. We knew that the pool was shut down because of COVID, but we figured that we would at least give ourselves a chance at it with so many amenities starting to reopen. I would leave my trumpet at home. J and I would sleep in late while the kids watched movies on the big hotel TV, and then we'd sip espresso in our pajamas. We would drink wine and get exotic takeout and work on puzzles together. Maybe, since there were two rooms to the suite, we could even have some "privacy" without being interrupted by a child pounding on the door. It was a lovely dream.

The kids got into the excitement too. James was excited to "live in an apartment for awhile." Owen was disappointed that it would only be for two nights. "I thought it would be for at least a couple of weeks!" And Felix kept repeating, "I hope that Josh Allen is excited to meet me." We explained that Josh Allen was probably visiting his family in California. "Oh," said Felix "then I want to stay in a hotel in California."

On Tuesday morning I urged the boys to do their school quickly so that we could be ready to leave for the hotel that afternoon as soon as our room was available.

Me: "Come on Owen, we just have to figure out which words are adjectives and which words are adverbs. What do adjectives modify?"

Owen: "Uhh...words that stand in place for someone's name?"

Me: "Well, you're describing a pronoun, and adjectives might modify a pronoun. But pronouns are part of a bigger class of words called...

Owen: "...words."

Felix: "RRRewwww...pakow! pakow! pakow! The Hudson Hornet is in flames!"

Me: "What about adverbs. Do you remember what sorts of words adverbs describe?"

Owen: "Nope."

Me: "Come on guys, we can't leave for the hotel until we get school done. James, can you tell us what kinds of words adverbs describe?"

James: "How, when, where, how often, and to what extent."

Felix: "RRrewww, RREWWW! Oh no, oh no!"

Me: "Well, those are some of the types of adverbs, but what sorts of words do adverbs modify?"

James: <staring blankly> "Maybe...describing words?"

Felix: <exasperated> "They descwibe verbs!"

On the drive out to the hotel James announced to J that he had a story to tell her. James' stories are literal epics. He composes them up in his room, and they involve characters from every subject and on every topic that he is even remotely interested in. He paces back and forth memorizing the entire tale (which usually takes about 2-3 hours to tell in its entirety) and then he recites it with zero inflection/pauses/emotional cadence as quickly as possible to J while they take a walk. He will only tell his stories to J, and it doesn't matter if she pays attention. He has to get it out of his system. If he doesn't get to finish it he remembers exactly where he left off and will resume the recitation from there at the earliest opportunity. But he's no good for anything else until he's downloaded it to her. ("James, you're going to pace a groove into your floor. James, you're standing in traffic!) He attempted to tell her a bit of the story in the car (it involved Julius Caesar and Cleopatra making a wager about whether she could build a magnificent temple, but somehow also involved Harry, Ron, Hermione, and the Mandalorian and Baby Yoda.)

The check-in at the hotel was very exciting. We folded out a luxurious fold-out sofa for the kids to sleep on, and ordered them a Domino's pizza. They argued (as they would each time we would ride the elevator) about who got to press the buttons, and then we found out that our Chromecast wouldn't be able to stream movies on the hotel TVs. (So much for the promises of watching whatever movies they wanted.) The evening ended with the kids pounding on our decidedly non-soundproof door, and me receiving a call at 9 PM instructing me to quarantine in place because one of my COVID tests was inconclusive.

Wednesday was a blur. My COVID test turned out to be negative after all. Felix spent most of the morning racing/smashing his matchbox cars around, and also spread LEGOS that we didn't even know he'd brought all over the floor of the suite. (J: "I swear these kids shed LEGOS like a dog shedding hair.") Owen watched superhero cartoons on TV in rapt stupor and wiggled a loose tooth. James paced restless and unending lines through the suite, periodically asking whether J was ready to hear his story yet or not. We fed them a boxed hotel breakfast of microwave waffles, cold bagels, and sugary yogurt. We got decent espresso from across the street and decided to do some exploring.

Owen immediately entered a furious sulk upon leaving the hotel room, and spent most of our time in the Broadway Market attempting to get lost on purpose. We did ride two escalators, through, and let the kids try cotton candy for the first time. (James: "It melts in my mouth in a funny way. Are you ready to hear my story yet?")

Then we went up to Delaware Park and had a picnic near a playground. Owen and Felix played on the playground while James finally offloaded part of his story to J, and then Felix announced that he had pooped in his diaper and that it had run down his legs into both his shoes. (He was telling the truth.)

I drove him back to the hotel to attempt to change/sanitize him, and then drove him back to J, who was trying to keep the other two from throwing rocks and sticks into the lake while she wasn't looking. Valet parking sounds like a real luxury, but it isn't helpful at all when you're trying to unload a three year old as quickly as possible, and then you need to hustle back to the park because your other children all need a restroom and everything is shut down due to COVID. So far it all felt like a typical morning, except with more downtown city driving. We tried to do a little walking along the trails, and ended up doing more scolding for playing near/throwing things into decorative bodies of water. 

We drove back to the hotel to find them some supper.

Felix: "Daddy, what number comes after eleven?"

Me: "Twelve."

Felix: "And what number comes after twelve?"

Me: "Thirteen."

Felix: "And what number comes after thirteen?"

Me: "How high is this going to go?"

Felix: "I'm counting to one hundred."

Me: "After thirteen is ninety-nine."

Felix: "No it isn't. It's fourteen. What number comes after fourteen?"

Owen: "I KNOW! It's fifteen!"

We fed them hamburgers and fries on Wednesday night and set them up with the only kid-friendly movie that was showing on the hotel cable--The Parent Trap, which, fortunately, they loved.

That was the best part of the trip for J and I. We opened a nice bottle of wine (a 2013 Amarone) picked up some French food from a good restaurant downtown, (Owen, upon hearing me ordering, shouting in the phone: "HEY! DO YOU HAVE FOOD THAT'S GOOD FOR KIDS?") and had a romantic dinner beside our city-view window in our room of the suite while the kids dropped off to a late-night movie and gently fell asleep. 

Just kidding, of course. They started pounding on the door to our suite as soon as their movie was over. Oh, and Owen's loose tooth came out.

We stopped by the Galleria on the way back to Rochester and attempted to upgrade our old/dying phones (turns out we aren't eligible for anything other than paying full price for decent phones, so we will stick to our old/dying ones) and to buy the kids new LEGOS on the basis of they want LEGOS and we are too tired to say no.

We had lunch at the Cheesecake factory, which was an interesting study in just how savagely three small boys can treat a basket full of complimentary bread. It's always interesting to see how these kids interact with the general public after a year in seclusion. James made part of his order request in Latin. Owen was astonishingly polite and well-mannered to the waitress when placing his order, but lost points when he opened the door to the women's bathroom, poked his head in, and yelled, "Hey, this is the ladies' room...there are ladies in here!" Felix sucked his fingers, crawled under the table, and mostly fell asleep on his Curious George. 10 PM movies are too late for three and a half year olds.

Was it a glamorous, once-in-a lifetime getaway? No. But was it a restful chance to recharge and slow down the pace for our family? Also no. But did we make some memories that will last a lifetime? I don't know if I'll remember anything else, but I know I'll remember to pack more pairs of pants for Felix in the future. (Maybe he'll be potty-trained by the time we do this again in ten years.)

Not Funny

 None of this is funny yet. But it probably will be in a few years, which is why I am writing it down. We'll want to look back on this week and remember it, and we won't be able to come up with all the details unless I get them all out somewhere.

This was the week when it truly felt like we had been locked up together for a year.

The week when I was shopping for health insurance, because our plan through the college was getting cut as part of the adjunct cutbacks.

And when I got so frustrated by the process that I decided to go for a run. And then I slipped and fell and sprained a toe (and busted up my thumb, and pulled a bunch of muscles in my chest) in the middle of the woods, and had to call (with a dying phone battery) J and the kids to come rescue me.

So I was hobbled and on the couch for most of this, like when Owen decided that he wasn't going to do any more school unless it was -9 worksheets and would sit in the time-out corner and scream at the top of his lungs the whole time James was trying to get his done.

And how Felix thought that the only appropriate response to Owen's behavior would be to empty boxes full of puzzle pieces into random piles in the library whenever unsupervised.

And how I had to threated Owen with public school to make him stop.

And how Felix wouldn't sleep in his own bed anymore, but would climb into our bed or into Owen's bed or into his dresser drawers or onto his changing table to fall asleep. And how he'd turn on all the lights in his room after bedtime every night, even when we taped over the light switches. 

ASIDE: In a slight positive, this is the week that Felix started exclaiming "By Jupiter!" with most of his exclamations, because of reading the Asterix comics.

And how we had to move Owen into James' room on a mattress so that he and Felix would stop fighting in the middle of the night. And how Felix was so tired in the mornings that he would come down holding Owen's George and then looking confused about where his was.

And how all of a sudden Felix (though supposedly potty-trained) decided to start pooping in his pants again.

But it all came to a head yesterday, when J and I were going to try to record some long-overdue projects for our churches in the afternoon. The theory was simple: Set the kids up with screen time in our room, set up our recording equipment, and record for an hour or so before dinner. You can do this with a hobbled foot. It's easy.

Except that it wasn't. Because the music that I'd written didn't format correctly, so we had to take apart the whole recording rig to reset the computer, pull up the notation software, and generate new parts. And then in the middle of the master piano track you could hear doors slamming and somebody apparently jumping up and down in Owen/Felix's room. 

But we pushed ahead, because we only had so much time. And then, in the middle of the trumpet track, James came down and announced that he'd thrown up on our bed. 

It was my side of the bed. And he threw up all over my clothes, too.

So we paused the recording process, got him cleaned up, got the laundry going, and then set up the kids in a different room with a different computer to watch more George.

We were going to finish this recording, by Jupiter.

It was in the middle of a flute track that out-of-control thumping sounds erupted from the basement. The washer had spun itself out of center because of all of the bedding inside. And also, the first load still had gunk in it and would need to be rerun. It was at this point that we realized we didn't have enough laundry detergent to wash everything that was hit. 

We got the washer fixed and the flute track down, and I went back to do another take of the trumpet part. That was when the wireless headphone batteries died mid-take. 

We sat down (with only 45 minutes left until my evening lessons) to eat a risotto dinner that should have been lovely and leisurely. I tried to eat mine slowly enough to enjoy it, and then drove out to pick up a new bottle of laundry detergent, offering to J to pick up some dessert (which we normally do only on feast days) since it had been such a hard day. She declined.

While I was out J texted to say that James threw up again and that she'd changed her mind about dessert. The text message never arrived.

I taught a lesson, and had a zoom meeting with prospective student who was 15 minutes late to the interview. Then we finally sat down and listened to the recordings we'd made. They were unusable. Each of us played with decent intonation with the guide track, but our pitch playing together was like the sound of cats fighting in octaves.

And it would still be three hours before all the bedding was washed. 

I worked at the computer and messed around with some of the tracks and drank scotch. J sat on our bare mattress with a glass of wine and her book. I made some progress, and we eventually put layer after layer back on our bed. By the end of the night, we'd salvaged this.

Deep, Deep Love.mp4

It was, without qualification, an awful day. But we made something beautiful by the end of it.

Today, I am getting my first vaccine shot. And there is some light at the end of this tunnel, by Jupiter.

5 Essentials (This turns into a Buzzfeed article)

 We played a fun game with Aunt Martha during a recent Albion visit where we went around the room picking five essential books that we would want to teach if were in charge of an average high school freshman literature class. I think that my five were Beowulf, Animal Farm, Pride and Prejudice, Slaughterhouse Five, and The Hobbit

Entirely for fun and to no one's actual benefit, here are several more essential 5 lists.

5 things that a collegiate trumpet student needs to show up with

H.L. Clarke Technical studies, a metronome, a decent quality recorder, a streaming service, and the Charlier 36 Transcendental etudes. I think (if you assume that the student does a lot of intelligent practicing) you could make a competent player out of those materials and only those materials in four years of work.

5 male wardrobe essentials

Assuming all of your clothes fit you properly: high quality brown boots, a gray sweater, khaki pants, a white button up shirt, and a navy blazer. You can probably show up to work, a bachelor party, a job interview, a concert, or a tiki bar in some combination of those five pieces and look great.

5 most important kitchen gifts for newlyweds

A digital scale, a chef's knife, cast iron pot, cast iron skillet, fish spatula. (Bonus item: microplane)

J's 5 supper staples

Soup, pasta, chicken, roasted vegetables, grain (either rice or something similar)

J's 5 upstate New York survival wardrobe

Proper winter boots, thick wool socks (everything after these is bonusland, because if your feet are cold, nothing else will matter), cashmere lined gloves, down-lined coat, wool hat

Owen's essential 6-year old wardrobe

Two unmatched socks (no holes allowed), one tattered football jersey, a pair of sweatpants WITHOUT holes in the knees, one pair of underwear worn backwards (a single pair usually lasts about a week), one sweater to be worn UNDER the football jersey

Things from Owen

 "I just finished reading the Carboose Mystery!"

"You mean the Caboose Mystery?"

"No, it's a Carboose."

"It's pronounced 'caboose.'"

"No it isn't. It's CARboose. Caboose wouldn't make any sense."

"Owen, I'm pretty sure it's caboose. Read it again. Spell it out."

"Dad, I already READ it." <picks up the book> "C-A-B....it's a carboose."

"Do you hear how you're pronouncing with an 'r' sound, but there--"

"DAD! I'm telling you..." <walks away exasperatedly>

"Dad, can we get out the blocks from the basement?"

"No, not right now."

"How about now?"

"It's going to be a bit, Owen, I'm in the--"

"How about now?"

"Owen. I'm doing church work and..."

"What about now? Can we get them out yet?"

"Ask me again this afternoon."

<5 seconds later>

"Is it the afternoon now?"

<After retrieving a book that he wanted from downstairs while J was in the middle of a work call>

"I was as quiet as a whispering duck."

Super Bowl Live Blog

6:10 Well, I'm upstairs despite my plan to do this from the basement. I still stand by my contention that this is not an interesting game and that we don't all need to hear a three hour session of everyone going around the room and taking turns sharing about how great Tom Brady is. But...well, the paint coat that I put on my new model isn't dry yet, and the boys are all excited.

We just finished a dinner of wings (with fried cauliflower and jalapeno slices for the grown ups), a veggie tray with homemade blue cheese and french onion dips, and pina coladas, which I'd never made before. Technically I've still never made a pina colada, because we didn't have any frozen pineapple. But it was good with mango.

6:13 The boys are upset because we're putting them to bed at halftime. This is a direct result of what happened two weeks ago after the AFC championship game. We let James and Owen stay up for the entire game, and then had the worst week of school ever. There were tears, attitude, and constant whining. And the kids were even worse than me.

6:14 Felix says that Tom Brady is kind of like a skunk. I agree.

6:15 Owen would want everyone to know that he officially lost his first tooth. It probably wasn't quite ready to come out, but he and James were playing a game that they call "Karate," and (nobody could have ever seen this coming) when James bodyslammed him facefirst into the corner of a wall his tooth popped out.

I've read quite a bit this year about running technique, and I think it's fascinating how humankind evolved the capabilities we have for long distance running/persistence hunting. Our stride, our ability to shed heat by perspiring, our unique running gait, the shape of our feet...it's fascinating to see how our bodies work. 

When Owen smashed his tooth out my first thought was, "What was the reproductive/survival advantage that anyone would gain by evolving the ability to make that noise?" Is a shriek of such earsplitting power a sign of dominance? Can it ward off potential predators? If he screamed at a bed of kindling, could it make fire?

6:19 Felix just saw Jill Biden on TV and says that she looks just like Nama.

6:22 Owen wants to know if the hype man in the camel coat is angry. He notes, "It DOES take all of us."

6:23 James is concerned that there isn't a giant flag on the field yet for the national anthem. I think he's more excited about the anthem than anything else. He's been asking about it all day.

6:24 The model that I'm working on (which is currently drying) is a 1/700th replica of the USS The Sullivans, which is parked in the Buffalo Naval Park. The kids and I visited it a few years ago, and it's a fantastic day for three little boys. You can scramble all over the whole ship (up ladders and over catwalks), so it's basically a floating obstacle course with enormous guns all over it. It was on our list to go back this year, but then COVID hit...

6:26 My current game is to watch all of these pop artists that I've never heard of and try to see if, without context, I could look at their hair/outfit and think "Oh, I must be watching something from Star Wars." (So far both of the women could be straight out of the Mandalorian, but the guy singing the national anthem is wearing denim.)

6:27 Owen: Is he playing a blue-stringed guitar?

6:28 I can't get over how much more fun this would be if the Bills were playing. Of course, I'd probably be puking with the nerves...

6:29 Julie and I are both in agreement that the one thing we want from the commercials tonight is to see more of the "Save you from becoming your parents" Progressive commercials. Felix wants more of the "Where is the Bud Light NEVER MIND I FOUND IT!"

6:30 "Many great stories begin with once upon a time." CBS is directly plagiarizing J's children's sermon

6:31 J is rooting for football. For a good game. James is rooting for the Chiefs. I am rooting a game where the only forms of scoring are safeties and pick-sixes.

6:33 Owen and Felix are eating Valentine's Candy, because today is a feast day.

6:34 The toss is heads. That's an incredible 30th head. Just amazing longevity. Once in a generation result. Probably because heads doesn't eat tomatoes and has a personal trainer and is married to a supermodel. <raspberry noise>

6:36 Yes, I'm aware that I'm being a poor sport. But that's why I'm writing this all down instead of saying it out loud.

6:38 James: "Daddy, can I ask you something?" Me: "Yes?"

6:39 <silence>

6:40 James: "This game is on CBS, right?" Me:"...yes" James: "Then why is the scoreboard different."

6:40 Three and out. "Everything is proceeding as I have forseen it.."

6:41 Me to J: "When was the last time you had pringles?" (There is a player named Pringle) J: "I don't want to talk about food." (Those chicken wings were amazing, but REALLY indulgent.)

6:44 Felix says he needs a haircut. ("It's almost curly.")

6:45 I will say this...I loved Antoine Winfield so much as a football player (and especially during his time with the Bills) that I can't help but pull for his son.

6:46 James has asked twice if he can watch the winning team "host" the Lombardi.

6:47 I am writing all of this on my new work laptop. My church got it for me, along with the most recent version of Finale and Adobe Premiere Pro, so that I could contribute a bit more. Finale is great. The video editing software is amazing, but it's way over my head. 

6:48 Owen and Felix both heard Snooki (sp?) say "Oh, this sucks!" and they think she said "My socks."

6:51 Brady sacked. My heart is warmed.

6:52 James: "What do you think football players who just lost the Super Bowl feel like? Pretty disappointed, I imagine." J: "I wonder what Donald Trump is doing tonight..."

6:54 Who's going to drink Budweiser if you take the alcohol out of it?

6:58 I can't do it. Grabbed a scotch and the model. We're going to work on the 5 inch main guns.

7:02 Yes, Will Ferrell, I did know that Norway sells way more electric cars than the US. (The Norwegian government heavily subsidizes them, partly due to national guilt about their extensive oil drilling revenues)

7:05 Marv Levy mention. There are 5 people on my bed, and it's totally impossible to work with tiny model parts and glue. My parts keep on going flying when I snip. This isn't working.

7:11 Brady to Gronk. <sigh...>

7:13 The Bud Light commercial didn't do much for Felix.

7:14 How do Antonio Brown and Sammy Watkins both get to play in this game?

7:15 Felix is playing a hilarious game where he pokes James and it bothers him. He is the only fan of this game.

7:16 Big George "Is that a touchdown? That is wholly not a touchdown."

7:17 Owen's thoughts: "I think I saw things I really like and want to see again. The commercial with Big Bird, the one at the ending where a lady says, 'Oh, my socks,' and the man that is full flat like a piece of paper."

7:17 A fingerstick commercial! John Carreyou needs to write about this. (Bad Blood was a good book)

7:18 2021 reading so far: 

Basket Case (Carl Hiaasen), Watership Down (Richard Adams), The Eyes of the Heart (Frederick Buechner), The Odyssey Book 5 (Homer, in Greek),  L'Appart (David Leibowitz), Plan B (Jonathan Tropper), Argonautica (Apollonius, in English), A Midsummer Night's Dream (Shakespeare), How (Not) to Be Secular (James K.A. Smith), My Year with Eleanor (Noelle Hancock), The Wife Between Us (Hendricks and Pekkanen), La Chute (Camus, in French), Christ, the Heart of Creation (Rowan Williams), The Odyssey Book 6 (Homer, in Greek), Crime and Punishment (Dostoevsky), Nature Girl (Carl Hiaasen), War on Peace (Ronan Farrow), A Promised Land (Barack Obama), Odyssey Book 7 (Homer, in Greek), This is Going to Hurt (Adam Kay), You Are Not Alone (Hendricks and Pekkanen), Metamorphoses Book 3 (Ovid, in Latin), Of Mice and Men (Steinbeck)

Currently reading more Homer, Le Jeu de l'Amour et du Hasard, and Infinite Jest.

7:22 J gave Felix a ponytail and he looks just like Bam-Bam. In her own words, "This is the closest I'm ever going to get to having a little girl."

7:27 Owen is getting a ponytail too.

7:28 Did they get stopped short on 4th and goal? They got stopped on 4th and goal!

7:31 I need to send a couple of emails for work. But who sends emails during the Super Bowl? On the other hand, who checks email during the Super Bowl?

7:34 James is watching The Mandalorian with us in the evenings after the other kids are in bed, and it's wonderful. He's on the very. Last. Episode. But we aren't both home in the evening again until Wednesday night. I don't know if he's going to make it.

7:35 James is also on Half-Blood Prince in the Harry Potter series. He almost quit Order of the Phoenix a couple of times ("I really don't like Dolores Umbridge!") but he soldiered through. We finally played the, "What patronus would each member of our family have?" game last night. Consensus: James would have an owl, Owen would have a puppy, and Felix would have a baby Yoda. I would be a swan, J would be a hawk.

7:37 Also, Felix likes to shout the Expecto Patronum spell. He does it with great enthusiasm, and at the top of his lungs. And he pronounces it "Ekpekko Mpitwonee!!!"

7:38 I miss 30 Rock.

7:39 Owen is laughing uproariously at the commercial with funny babies.

7:43 The pick is called back. 

7:44 J is blogging again, if you weren't aware/gave up on checking her site during the long hiatus.

7:45 Owen tries to initiate the game where he repeats everything that James says. J quickly shuts it down.

7:45 Felix laughing uproariously because J keeps on telling him he has a fluffy head. (Also, he's up past his bedtime.)

7:46 James is shouting at the TV because of penalties. Owen is shouting because, well, he's Owen. This bed is small.

7:46 Field goal called back and Bucs given a first down. IT'S RIGGED!!!

7:47 Another Gronk touchdown. Yuck. Owen is making noise like he's rooting for the Bucs, just to be provocative. I didn't think that I would be rooting for one particular team, but I can't stand to see the Bucs (plus refs) winning like this. Go Chiefs.

7:50 How are people still watching Beavis and Butthead? 

7:54 All three kids have a hit a wall in the last couple of minutes. Felix has his fingers in his mouth and Big George lying on his face.

7:55 James and Owen have been reading a great comic book series called Asterix. It's about Gaul during the time of Julius Caesars Gallic Wars, and apparently it's hilarious. They fight over who gets to bring it to bed.

7:58 We've listened to Believe It Or Not I'm Walking On Air and Escape (The Pina Colada song) in the last 4 hours. It's been a great stretch for the 80s.

8:00 I have to remind myself whenever Travis Kelce touches the ball, "This is okay. You WANT the Chiefs to get back into this game."

8:01 Patrick Mahomes using the patented Josh Allen-run-backwards-for-50-yards-on-third-down play.

8:02 J: "So what can Tom Brady do in a minute and one second?" Me: "Not eat a tomato."

8:03 Somebody selling deodorant who looks like Cole Beasley said the word "naked," and now all three boys have the giggles.

8:04 Here's a sentence from an email that I sent to my choir this week:

...we're going to get the whole church involved on the 2/28 service. It will be a celebration of all of our committees (which is the most Presbyterian sentence I've ever written)...

8:05 Felix has decided that it's time to start wrestling. (This bed is too small for five people.)

8:06 Felix: "James is a boogernose."

8:08 I just got Doris Kearns Goodwin's Team of Rivals book in on my library holds, but they don't have a kindle version available.

8:09 Another flag favoring the Bucs. (On an uncatchable ball. Again.)

8:11 ANOTHER uncatchable ball. Now I'm actively rooting for someone to clobber one of the refs. (Not the woman referee.)

8:12 If football had assists, you would need to give one to Carl Cheffers.

8:13 Another flag. (Personal foul.) Josh Allen: "Throw the ball at his head!"

8:16 Halftime. Bedtime for the kids. 

8:26 Kids are in bed. James is in tears over not being allowed to stay up to the end of the game. (Maybe next year) I am watching the halftime show on purpose to see if the singers look more like singers or Star Wars characters. Guy in the red jacket looks like he comes from Star Wars.

8:28 Owen's already come in twice to ask questions that he already knows the answer to.

8:29 He (Star Wars singer) is spinning around in a mirror room of golden lights, and it's just like that casino from whichever movie had the casino scene. Plus there are people in masks. His guitarist has a glowing silver face.

8:37 Okay, serious suggestion here. There should be no such thing as pass interference. Offensive or defensive. Tackling a player or holding with both hands, maybe. But allow them to hand fight, to push off, and to grab jerseys. Whatever it is that you'll lose offensively when everyone starts playing press coverage all the time you'll gain with the big plays that open up when receiver are able to get off of press coverage and downfield. There's way too much ambiguity in the way that DPI is called (or not called) right now, and it's crazy to think that this game is probably going to come down to Carl Cheffer's interpretation of an ambiguous rule. 

8:42 Only two people in the bed now. It's quiet. No one is kicking anybody else. We're going to enjoy the rest of the game in peace.

8:47 There's something to be said for handing the ball off when they're only putting 6 in the box...

8:50 Two big slip-and-falls on the grass. Maybe home field advantage is a bigger deal than we thought...

8:52 Wayne and Garth look OLD....

8:54 Brady follows people around to jaw at them too, but he doesn't get flagged...(thanks to Tony Romo for following up on my point on the air)

8:58 Another Tampa TD. This is getting ugly.

9:03 Mahomes sacked. J makes the excellent point that even if the Bucs are in deep Cover 2, you ought to take a couple of shots if the refs are calling pass interference.

9:06 Now we're just going to watch a Tracy Jordan/Morgan compilation. 

9:12 Brady fumble! And it takes them out of field goal range?

9:13 Apparently still in field goal range.

9:17 A flag! How surprising. (Finally on the Bucs, though)

9:19 A flag! Quelle surprise! 

9:21 What happened to Sammy Watkins? He was so freakish his first few years in Buffalo, and he had the route-running piece in place too. Was there a specific injury that slowed him down?

9:25 Prep for tomorrow's sourdough baking. (Not that I have much to do with that besides turning the oven on when I get up at 6:00)

9:29 Poor Mahomes. Hit the guy in the hands after a hero effort. (A lot of Josh Allen ball on that drive--backpedaling 30 and then heaving it with three guys on you.)

9:31 Orchestra people in the Budweiser commercial? (And a pretty realistic picture of them drinking beer and joking around/insulting each other.)

9:32 So, this game is over. We're just kind of waiting for the credits at this point. I am going to attempt to find things to write about until then. I watched a film with quite a bit of Spanish dialogue on my runs over the past few days, and noticed that I'd picked up enough of the language while working with Owen on his Duolingo this year that I recognized a couple of phrases. It featured three strong female leads, critiqued the immigration system, and explored questions of whether only human beings could evolve something like a conscience.

9:33 Okay, it was the most recent Terminator movie. Did you like it, Martha? (I do my best treadmill running while watching action movies. It gets your adrenaline up.)

9:36 J and I both want to look like Bruce Arians' mom when we're 95. Doesn't look a day over 65.

9:36 It was my half birthday last week and J pointed out that I'm closer to 70 than birth. I don't see how this could be the case, but I'm pretty sure that it's Owen's fault.

9:38 A similar thought from J. "They say they've been made in US for decades, but the company could have been founded in 2000 and that would still be true."

9:42 The only real Chiefs fans I know are the Degnans. Condolences to Ken and Sue. I know it hurts.

9:44 We went for a lovely walk in Tinker Park on Saturday. The kids wore their snowsuits. I had to carry Felix back for over a mile. He's really heavy. Especially in a snowsuit. He fell asleep at 6 PM that night and slept all the way until the next morning.

9:47. Another flag. Tam novitas. 

9:48 "A tough day at work." I'm glad that the entire country doesn't watch my tough work days. (The 2018 Petrouchka concert comes to mind.)

9:49 Commercial break due to the fan on the field. I'm honestly not sure on this...how can a seltzer be organic? 

9:50 No becoming-your-parents Progressive commercials yet.

9:51 I tried putting another 5" gun on The Sullivans, but whenever I snip parts off they go flying, and I'm afraid I'm going to lose something. (I did lose the helm of my Cutty Sark that way down in the basement.)

9:52 3rd and 33. Somehow turned into 4th and 10. Failed to convert, but taunting by Winfield the Younger. 

9:54 <Commercial showing a 6 year old> "You may be feeling a little cooped up."

9:57 "The game did not live up to the hype." J: "That's a ballsy thing for Jim Nantz to say."

9:58: "Tom Brady didn't have a single Super Bowl win between the ages of 27 and 36." Me: "Aw, poor persecuted Tom."

10:03 A flag. πόσο εκπληκτικό

10:04 Romo makes an excellent point. Bucs defensive strategy was simple and they never deviated. They didn't outsmart the Chiefs, they just beat up on them.

10:07 James and Owen both say that they want to watch a NASCAR race some time.

10:08 J: "You see the proposed $3,000 per child legislation? Would we actually...put that in their college funds or something?" Me: "We'd be better parents with an espresso maker."

10:09 White on the pick, then takes his helmet off in the end zone. Why isn't there a flag on that?

10:10 J: "I can't believe Antonio Brown just won a Super Bowl. That makes me want to puke more than anything else."

10:11 "They should call it Champa Bay. Or Tampa Brady." J: "Jim, put down the Michelob Light.'

10:12 Clock hits zero. Football "socks." Go Bills.